Josh reports that Jesse gets free stuff a lot. At Dunkin' Donuts, the cashiers put munchkins in the bag. At Stop & Shop the cashier gives him candy. The lady at the liquor store hands over her own donuts! He loves to go out, and I guess we know why!
Yesterday I gave Jocelyn a VERY cute haircut and then Jesse got one too (that's the way it works here - whatever one has, the other wants) and then we all packed into the car and went to the library to see Morgan's artwork that was on display as part of a South Windsor school art display (all the schools had participants). His was a fish hanging from the ceiling, so it took us a while to find it! Didn't help that he couldn't tell us what it was, never mind where it was. It was pretty though, had his handprints in paint all over it.
We all went down to the kids library downstairs. Jocelyn and Jesse went around introducing themselves to any other kid they could find. They finally found one that would play with them and proceeded to do puzzles, color, read books, etc. Morgan wandered around lying inappropriately on the furniture and putting his feet up on the glass windows. Timothy found the comic books and read. Josh didn't have much fun since he got to follow Morgan around and tell him to stop kicking the glass, but then I was in charge of getting Jocelyn & Jesse to leave without crying. That part mostly went ok except they are both master stallers so immediately had to use the bathroom (yes, both of them) when it was time to leave. So they dawdled around the bathroom for a while and then everyone took turns at the water bubbler, except Jesse wouldn't drink from it, he only wanted to touch it with his hands.
Timothy's class is doing research on the civil war so they're doing a big enactment on May 29th. As part of it, they secretly sent home a "survey" which was really a request for us to write them letters they can read at mail call. Well, I'm about 99% sure that Timothy's letter will be funnier than any of the others! You know, things like - his dad wants to turn his room into a movie theater, but since movies aren't invented yet, that's just silly, and that Morgan took over his job feeding the chickens and scared them all away. I thought it was rather clever if I do say so myself.
Josh and Timothy went golfing again today. This time Timothy did well enough to actually write down scores for 4 or 5 holes, so that was good. Josh stands in front of him and holds his head still and then he says Timothy hits it pretty well - a little to the right so they just aim a little to the left, haha. On the way home they stopped and had Timothy fitted for new clubs, which he'll be getting for his birthday. Josh is really happy to have a golf partner!
Another very long week at work, and likely one more this week. The fun never ends! It got me thinking though. Josh never complains that I work late. These days I generally try to get home by 7 so I can help put the kids to bed, but that means long days for both of us. And towards the end of the week I really start missing the kids. Someone asked me a long time ago if I felt guilty for working long hours, but guilt is the wrong word. Or at least for me it is. I know they are well cared for and I know more work means more money and maybe if I work hard enough, I will be able to afford college for these kids! But to be honest, I don't fully understand what drives me at work. I have pictures of the kids all over my office and I think of them throughout the day and it lifts my spirits, but I also feel driven. Driven to complete my assignments, to find the answers, to not stop until I do. If I could only find the answers faster, I would come home sooner!
Josh sends me emails during the day about what they are doing or have done - like Jesse strutting his stuff all over CVS or the library or whatever. I love reading them, and I feel jealous at times, but I still wouldn't want to trade places with Josh. I only want to stay home if he's there too. I think I should play the lottery more often. Because I wouldn't work if I could live my current lifestyle without it, so I'm not driven in the same way that I imagine many senior executives are, which is why I rarely work weekends. That's my time, that's where I draw my line. I'll stay all week, do what I have to, but it better be good and on fire before I give up weekend time. I need that time with the kids, with Josh, and just to breathe and get my brain revived.
But why? Why did I draw the line there? I don't know. I don't know why I work so hard. It's the weirdest thing. I slept through most of college and barely found a job at graduation, and here I am. So strange.
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