Timothy was away last week on the 8th grade trip to Washington DC. He left early in the morning on the 15th and got home around 10pm on the 18th. I was apprehensive about letting him go on a trip far away with a pretty high teenager to chaperone ratio! However, we have so much commotion in our house that once he left, I barely noticed he was gone.
Saturday morning the other kids were all very excited to see Timothy. Jesse hung on him all day, following him around, imitating him, playing video games, and being very jealous of the switch-blade comb that Timothy had bought for himself while away. Adorable.
But even cuter than that was Morgan's reaction. He was so excited to see Timothy that he literally jumped up and down and across the room to hug him, repeatedly. Big bear hugs and big smiles, for hours.
I have read that autism can be tough on a marriage and on siblings and generally on a family. Certainly this is true, but it focuses on the negative and not on the balance. With great challenge comes great reward, that's just how life works.
Yes, I have an 11-year that outweighs me and we had to put a new doorknob on the laundry room that requires a key to get out instead of in just so we can keep all the food safe from Morgan's early morning binges. He cried and fought getting shots at the doctor and even Josh struggled to counteract Morgan's extreme strength. I wipe peanut butter off the iPad every day. Outings as a family are carefully planned to be Morgan-friendly or else are only with one parent.
The daughter of one of Morgan's paras from last year came over on Tuesday afternoon to interview Timothy for a piece she's writing for NPR on the impact of autism on siblings. Among other things, she asked him if other kids at school teased him because of Morgan. "Sometimes," he said, "but I don't really care what they think. I know he's a good kid." Then all the kids showed her how they can bowl together on the Xbox Kinect.
I have an 11-year old that loves his siblings and jumps across the room with excitement to hug them. I have 3 other kids that love him back. They play games he can play, read books with him, and snuggle with him on the couch. He invites them to jump on the bed, they invite him to play iPad with collectively sticky fingers.
I cannot be thankful for autism, no one can. It would be like being thankful for cancer. But I can be thankful for how my family has reacted to it, how it has brought us together as a unit, and how my children have learned certain lessons early - lessons that others may not learn in their lifetime.
Who cares what anyone else thinks, I know we're awesome.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Rhonda
WE ARE SPECIAL, WE ARE WEIRD, BUT WE ARE NOT ALONE
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
November 13, 2011
Theme of the week: chain saws.
The sound of chain saws has been near constant all week. It's really surreal to drive around - there is barely a piece of sidewalk not covered with branches and trees. Josh took the chainsaw out for 3or 4 hours today and managed to clear just over half of our backyard. Jesse helped, of course. Timothy was called upon to help, but mostly just stood there. We have a pretty good pile of wood started under the deck for future burning in the fireplace.
I thought about helping Josh with the chainsaw activity, but decided to stay inside and sew holiday gift bags out of fabric all weekend. They actually look really cute! It's not exactly the same as the satisfaction of ripping through paper, but it creates far less trash! I already wrapped most of the kids' presents in paper already, so it will be a mixed medium holiday. And I also got Reese's name cross-stitched and sewed to his stocking - woo hoo! That's the last one - we're out of stockings. Actually, we were out one kid ago and with Reese, Grandma and Grandpa gave up their (joint) stocking. But we stopped doing adult stockings years ago, so it all works.
Jocelyn went to her first sleepover party last night. A friend of hers had a sleepover at a hotel where they got to go swimming and have buffet breakfast and painted their nails and watched movies and everything. She had a super good time, and that was after she had already gone to a daytime birthday party at Nomad's (essentially a giant Chuck E. Cheese type place).
We rescheduled Jesse's birthday party for this next Friday and so far most people can still make it. A bit belated, but BounceTown is always fun no matter the timing!
Timothy leaves on Tuesday morning for the 8th grade trip to Washington DC. Josh had the pleasure of taking him to the mandatory informational meeting this week and came home adamant that he would never do that again. I'm not really sure why we are forced to have read to us things we have to read and sign anyway, and apparently the principal went on a long rant about things that weren't allowed, like drugs, which means that kids who had never even thought of getting to do drugs this week are now reaching out to their DC connections.
Seriously, though, when you have the opportunity to speak to your child right before they go on stage to make a big speech, you have 2 choices. You can either say "knock 'em dead, you can do it," or you can say "don't blow it." The principal was clearly of the "don't blow it" camp,
All the kids went back to school (finally) on Wednesday this week, in case any of you were like me and worried they would never go back.
Well I guess that's the news from here. Hope everyone has a great week!
Rhonda
The sound of chain saws has been near constant all week. It's really surreal to drive around - there is barely a piece of sidewalk not covered with branches and trees. Josh took the chainsaw out for 3or 4 hours today and managed to clear just over half of our backyard. Jesse helped, of course. Timothy was called upon to help, but mostly just stood there. We have a pretty good pile of wood started under the deck for future burning in the fireplace.
I thought about helping Josh with the chainsaw activity, but decided to stay inside and sew holiday gift bags out of fabric all weekend. They actually look really cute! It's not exactly the same as the satisfaction of ripping through paper, but it creates far less trash! I already wrapped most of the kids' presents in paper already, so it will be a mixed medium holiday. And I also got Reese's name cross-stitched and sewed to his stocking - woo hoo! That's the last one - we're out of stockings. Actually, we were out one kid ago and with Reese, Grandma and Grandpa gave up their (joint) stocking. But we stopped doing adult stockings years ago, so it all works.
Jocelyn went to her first sleepover party last night. A friend of hers had a sleepover at a hotel where they got to go swimming and have buffet breakfast and painted their nails and watched movies and everything. She had a super good time, and that was after she had already gone to a daytime birthday party at Nomad's (essentially a giant Chuck E. Cheese type place).
We rescheduled Jesse's birthday party for this next Friday and so far most people can still make it. A bit belated, but BounceTown is always fun no matter the timing!
Timothy leaves on Tuesday morning for the 8th grade trip to Washington DC. Josh had the pleasure of taking him to the mandatory informational meeting this week and came home adamant that he would never do that again. I'm not really sure why we are forced to have read to us things we have to read and sign anyway, and apparently the principal went on a long rant about things that weren't allowed, like drugs, which means that kids who had never even thought of getting to do drugs this week are now reaching out to their DC connections.
Seriously, though, when you have the opportunity to speak to your child right before they go on stage to make a big speech, you have 2 choices. You can either say "knock 'em dead, you can do it," or you can say "don't blow it." The principal was clearly of the "don't blow it" camp,
All the kids went back to school (finally) on Wednesday this week, in case any of you were like me and worried they would never go back.
Well I guess that's the news from here. Hope everyone has a great week!
Rhonda
Monday, November 7, 2011
Sunday, November 6, 2011
November 6, 2011
Towards the beginning of the movie Armageddon, a civilian spots the meteor with his telescope and calls it in. After giving the coordinates, it goes a little something like this:
Is it true that whoever finds it gets to name it?
Yes
Well then I want to name it Dottie, after my wife. She's a vicious life-sucking bitch from which there is no escape.
The storm that hit us last weekend was Storm Alfred, and no, I wasn't the one who named it.
When the snow started, it was beautiful. The first snow always is. Big wet flakes.
We lost power Saturday just as we were warming up dinner. We spent the evening playing charades and rhyming games and whatever we could think of that would keep everyone entertained for a few hours. We watched parts of trees falling in the yard through various windows. We attempted to put each kid to bed in their own room, but that resulted in a lot of tears. So I kept Jesse and Jocelyn in my bed and Josh went and bunked with Timothy.
It was so strange falling asleep in extreme quiet, listening to trees crack and break and fall.
When I woke up on Sunday, Jocelyn and Jesse were at the bedroom window looking out. "That's a BIG TREE!"
And they were right - there was a great big tree lying across our driveway. We were trapped. There was about 6-8 inches of snow on the ground and parts of trees everywhere, but one full tree up by the roots that had quite fortunately not hit the garage.
Luckily Joey was able to get out of his place and he went to Lowe's and got us a hand saw and a gas chain saw. When he stopped to get gas, he discovered that since many many gas stations had no power, the ones that were left required a several hour wait. So he brought us the saw and we managed to use it to saw off enough branches so that we could drive under the tree and get the cars in and out. Yay!
We walked around the neighborhood to see how bad it was. Pretty bad - trees down everywhere. Our street has underground wires, so our power outage wasn't from us, and we could only assume that the rest of the town looked at bad. One of our neighbor's trees had split in 3 and peeled like a banana. Another neighbor was shoveling his driveway in his motorcycle helmet because parts of trees were continuing to fall.
By Sunday evening it was getting chilly in the house. We have a fireplace in our bedroom that we've never used, along with birch logs that came with the house, and more birch logs in the fireplace in my office. So 3 short hours later and we had a fire going. That's a bit of a skill isn't it! So we all sat in the dark in front of the fire and I told the kids stories of when they were little and they told us stories of things they remembered when they were little and then started just making up random stories about farts and stuff. The little ones said it was the best night of their lives. We repeated the same sleeping arrangements as the night before. We got a blast email from the school that school was canceled for Monday and Tuesday and Halloween was also canceled.
Monday morning I got up in the dark and braced myself for a cold shower. Thankfully, the water was still fairly warm, and while my shower was not real pleasant, it wasn't painful, and that was fine. I mistakenly drove over some downed wires on the way to work while I was trying not to drive into trees jetting out from the side of the road. The lines that were up had branches hanging from them. The main light onto the highway was out and no one was directing traffic, but everyone was generally being polite.
It was weird to go to work. I felt like I should be home doing... something. With no power in 70% of the state and schools and day cares out everywhere, a lot of people brought their kids into Aetna for a shower and some hot food.
In the garage, Josh hooked up the propane burner that he uses to make beer, and we used it for hot water and food, so we ate pretty well all week, though he still lost nearly 10 pounds. I haven't wanted to take my clothes off long enough to weigh myself.
It was even colder Tuesday, and the fairly warm water in the shower was only somewhat warm. Tuesday night Jocelyn wasn't feeling well and we loaded her up on medicines that Josh went out to fetch, but she woke up crying every 2 hours, saying that her ear hurt. In between one of her awakenings, I woke up smelling smoke and turned out the flue had slammed shut and Josh was trying to air out the room before we all choked to death (Josh waited up with the fire each night while we got a few hours of warmER sleep). We got a blast email that school was canceled the rest of the week.
So Wednesday morning was not fun. The shower was down to tepid, and I was very worried about Jocelyn. Rumor at work was that the wait time at the local MinuteClinics was about 2 hours. Everyone at work was about as punchy as I was, seeing as there had been virtually no improvement in the proportion of people without power, and anyone with power had relatives staying with them. No one was sleeping. The stop lights were still out all over the place and even my typically quite tolerable commute was nearly doubled. I considered having Josh bring Jocelyn into work to see if the Wellness Center at work had someone who would see her, but finally Josh emailed that Jocelyn had had a 3 hour nap and woke up saying her ear didn't hurt, it only felt like "a microphone".
So Wednesday night, while down to the mid to upper-40s in the house, was better. We sat around the fire yet again (getting pretty skilled at it by now!), minus Timothy (whose girlfriend still had power) and told more stories and then Josh and I tucked the little ones into our bed and we broke out the portable DVD player (that I'd been dragging to work each day to charge, along with alternating the laptops) and watched a couple episodes of Roseanne, and almost felt normal for a few minutes.
Thursday morning was the last of the nearly tepid water, and when I stepped into the garage, I realized it was warmer outside than in.
South Windsor had been only 73% out of power until Thursday, when it jumped to 91% out of power. Places that had been lit up on the way to work were now out, as were the highway lights until I got to East Hartford. But the traffic lights were on, so go figure. Each day I spent the day thinking I should be at home, but of course the entire company would likely come crashing down without me. LOL, ok, maybe that's an overstatement, but I had stuff to do.
Thursday we got our first actual information about potential power restoration via a facebook update from our state senator that there were crews in the town and that the substation was out and that the transistors that had not been out were now out, I assume from stress. Thursday evening I saw the first utility trucks I had seen all week.
Until then really the only updates I had were from NPR as I listened each night on my commute home to journalists fire questions at our governor and the head of the utility company, but none of this seemed to result in much progress as even on Thursday 60% of the state was still out of power.
I was off on Friday as it was supposed to be Jesse's birthday. We took a drove over to the substation but didn't see much action happening there. We drove by BounceTown and that was dark, so I sent an email to Jesse's class saying his party was canceled. We picked up more wood for the fireplace, then went home, packed some dirty laundry and pajamas up, and headed to mom and dad's for the night, where we all got clean and washed our clothes and watched some TV.
And then I remembered why we don't share a room with Morgan - he got up at 1:30am! So I didn't get a whole lot of sleep, though everyone else managed to sleep through Morgan being up. I was bunking with Jocelyn on the futon and Josh was with Jesse on the air mattress, so I had to get out of bed to walk over and shake Josh to get him to stop snoring.
Other than sleeping we had a great visit and the kids had a wonderful time playing video games and watching TV. I obsessively hit refresh on the website that tracked what % of each town was still out of power. South Windsor kept moving back and forth but finally started getting lower instead of higher so we headed home around 2pm.
As we were driving up to the house, we were examining the rest of the houses in the neighborhood and started seeing some porch lights on. When we came up to our own house - the lights were on! The garage door opened! We went inside - it was warming up!
We wandered around, not really sure what to do. It smelled funny. Like something burning. Where was that coming from? We started sniffing and walking. OMG - we were warming up chili when this all started and the burner was still on! And last night's spaghetti was on it! Luckily it wasn't even burned yet - good thing we came home when we did!
Then we continued wandering around not knowing what to do. I stood in the toy room and just looked out the window and cried. This was a loooong week, but we made it!
This morning we broke out the chain saw and tried to get the tree off our driveway, but it's just too big. So we put our name on the list at a tree service and they say they can be here in 8-10 days. Not too bad. Meanwhile we'll put the chain saw to work on the back yard, which is covered in very large branches and tree tops.
8% of the state is still out of power, and 32% of South Windsor. The outage is concentrated to the NE and NW of Hartford, but not in Hartford itself. The utility company said it would be only 1% by midnight tonight. They better hurry up! Yesterday on our way home we finally saw trucks working - from Denver. There are apparently crews from all over the country here helping out, though it took many days for the utility company to get them here, perhaps because they still haven't paid all their bills from Irene, which also left parts of the state without power for over a week.
And it's not even snow season yet!
So that was our week - hope everyone else had a better week than we did! But we're alright now :)
Rhonda
Is it true that whoever finds it gets to name it?
Yes
Well then I want to name it Dottie, after my wife. She's a vicious life-sucking bitch from which there is no escape.
The storm that hit us last weekend was Storm Alfred, and no, I wasn't the one who named it.
When the snow started, it was beautiful. The first snow always is. Big wet flakes.
We lost power Saturday just as we were warming up dinner. We spent the evening playing charades and rhyming games and whatever we could think of that would keep everyone entertained for a few hours. We watched parts of trees falling in the yard through various windows. We attempted to put each kid to bed in their own room, but that resulted in a lot of tears. So I kept Jesse and Jocelyn in my bed and Josh went and bunked with Timothy.
It was so strange falling asleep in extreme quiet, listening to trees crack and break and fall.
When I woke up on Sunday, Jocelyn and Jesse were at the bedroom window looking out. "That's a BIG TREE!"
And they were right - there was a great big tree lying across our driveway. We were trapped. There was about 6-8 inches of snow on the ground and parts of trees everywhere, but one full tree up by the roots that had quite fortunately not hit the garage.
Luckily Joey was able to get out of his place and he went to Lowe's and got us a hand saw and a gas chain saw. When he stopped to get gas, he discovered that since many many gas stations had no power, the ones that were left required a several hour wait. So he brought us the saw and we managed to use it to saw off enough branches so that we could drive under the tree and get the cars in and out. Yay!
We walked around the neighborhood to see how bad it was. Pretty bad - trees down everywhere. Our street has underground wires, so our power outage wasn't from us, and we could only assume that the rest of the town looked at bad. One of our neighbor's trees had split in 3 and peeled like a banana. Another neighbor was shoveling his driveway in his motorcycle helmet because parts of trees were continuing to fall.
By Sunday evening it was getting chilly in the house. We have a fireplace in our bedroom that we've never used, along with birch logs that came with the house, and more birch logs in the fireplace in my office. So 3 short hours later and we had a fire going. That's a bit of a skill isn't it! So we all sat in the dark in front of the fire and I told the kids stories of when they were little and they told us stories of things they remembered when they were little and then started just making up random stories about farts and stuff. The little ones said it was the best night of their lives. We repeated the same sleeping arrangements as the night before. We got a blast email from the school that school was canceled for Monday and Tuesday and Halloween was also canceled.
Monday morning I got up in the dark and braced myself for a cold shower. Thankfully, the water was still fairly warm, and while my shower was not real pleasant, it wasn't painful, and that was fine. I mistakenly drove over some downed wires on the way to work while I was trying not to drive into trees jetting out from the side of the road. The lines that were up had branches hanging from them. The main light onto the highway was out and no one was directing traffic, but everyone was generally being polite.
It was weird to go to work. I felt like I should be home doing... something. With no power in 70% of the state and schools and day cares out everywhere, a lot of people brought their kids into Aetna for a shower and some hot food.
In the garage, Josh hooked up the propane burner that he uses to make beer, and we used it for hot water and food, so we ate pretty well all week, though he still lost nearly 10 pounds. I haven't wanted to take my clothes off long enough to weigh myself.
It was even colder Tuesday, and the fairly warm water in the shower was only somewhat warm. Tuesday night Jocelyn wasn't feeling well and we loaded her up on medicines that Josh went out to fetch, but she woke up crying every 2 hours, saying that her ear hurt. In between one of her awakenings, I woke up smelling smoke and turned out the flue had slammed shut and Josh was trying to air out the room before we all choked to death (Josh waited up with the fire each night while we got a few hours of warmER sleep). We got a blast email that school was canceled the rest of the week.
So Wednesday morning was not fun. The shower was down to tepid, and I was very worried about Jocelyn. Rumor at work was that the wait time at the local MinuteClinics was about 2 hours. Everyone at work was about as punchy as I was, seeing as there had been virtually no improvement in the proportion of people without power, and anyone with power had relatives staying with them. No one was sleeping. The stop lights were still out all over the place and even my typically quite tolerable commute was nearly doubled. I considered having Josh bring Jocelyn into work to see if the Wellness Center at work had someone who would see her, but finally Josh emailed that Jocelyn had had a 3 hour nap and woke up saying her ear didn't hurt, it only felt like "a microphone".
So Wednesday night, while down to the mid to upper-40s in the house, was better. We sat around the fire yet again (getting pretty skilled at it by now!), minus Timothy (whose girlfriend still had power) and told more stories and then Josh and I tucked the little ones into our bed and we broke out the portable DVD player (that I'd been dragging to work each day to charge, along with alternating the laptops) and watched a couple episodes of Roseanne, and almost felt normal for a few minutes.
Thursday morning was the last of the nearly tepid water, and when I stepped into the garage, I realized it was warmer outside than in.
South Windsor had been only 73% out of power until Thursday, when it jumped to 91% out of power. Places that had been lit up on the way to work were now out, as were the highway lights until I got to East Hartford. But the traffic lights were on, so go figure. Each day I spent the day thinking I should be at home, but of course the entire company would likely come crashing down without me. LOL, ok, maybe that's an overstatement, but I had stuff to do.
Thursday we got our first actual information about potential power restoration via a facebook update from our state senator that there were crews in the town and that the substation was out and that the transistors that had not been out were now out, I assume from stress. Thursday evening I saw the first utility trucks I had seen all week.
Until then really the only updates I had were from NPR as I listened each night on my commute home to journalists fire questions at our governor and the head of the utility company, but none of this seemed to result in much progress as even on Thursday 60% of the state was still out of power.
I was off on Friday as it was supposed to be Jesse's birthday. We took a drove over to the substation but didn't see much action happening there. We drove by BounceTown and that was dark, so I sent an email to Jesse's class saying his party was canceled. We picked up more wood for the fireplace, then went home, packed some dirty laundry and pajamas up, and headed to mom and dad's for the night, where we all got clean and washed our clothes and watched some TV.
And then I remembered why we don't share a room with Morgan - he got up at 1:30am! So I didn't get a whole lot of sleep, though everyone else managed to sleep through Morgan being up. I was bunking with Jocelyn on the futon and Josh was with Jesse on the air mattress, so I had to get out of bed to walk over and shake Josh to get him to stop snoring.
Other than sleeping we had a great visit and the kids had a wonderful time playing video games and watching TV. I obsessively hit refresh on the website that tracked what % of each town was still out of power. South Windsor kept moving back and forth but finally started getting lower instead of higher so we headed home around 2pm.
As we were driving up to the house, we were examining the rest of the houses in the neighborhood and started seeing some porch lights on. When we came up to our own house - the lights were on! The garage door opened! We went inside - it was warming up!
We wandered around, not really sure what to do. It smelled funny. Like something burning. Where was that coming from? We started sniffing and walking. OMG - we were warming up chili when this all started and the burner was still on! And last night's spaghetti was on it! Luckily it wasn't even burned yet - good thing we came home when we did!
Then we continued wandering around not knowing what to do. I stood in the toy room and just looked out the window and cried. This was a loooong week, but we made it!
This morning we broke out the chain saw and tried to get the tree off our driveway, but it's just too big. So we put our name on the list at a tree service and they say they can be here in 8-10 days. Not too bad. Meanwhile we'll put the chain saw to work on the back yard, which is covered in very large branches and tree tops.
8% of the state is still out of power, and 32% of South Windsor. The outage is concentrated to the NE and NW of Hartford, but not in Hartford itself. The utility company said it would be only 1% by midnight tonight. They better hurry up! Yesterday on our way home we finally saw trucks working - from Denver. There are apparently crews from all over the country here helping out, though it took many days for the utility company to get them here, perhaps because they still haven't paid all their bills from Irene, which also left parts of the state without power for over a week.
And it's not even snow season yet!
So that was our week - hope everyone else had a better week than we did! But we're alright now :)
Rhonda
October 23, 2011
One day, I was riding in the car with my Grammy, on our way to the hair salon. Every Wednesday she had her hair done in an old lady poof. Every Wednesday. In the car, I asked her why she went to see Sandy every week. "Well Rhonda, I worked for over 40 years, and I deserve to have my hair done." And that was that.
One day, I asked my Grammy why Grampa wasn't in any of Mom & Dad's wedding pictures. "We don't talk about that," she said. And that was that.
One day, we were all at Grammy's and I was braiding Elisabeth's hair. Grammy said she didn't know how to braid. I asked her if it was because she didn't have any daughters. "Well, I did have a daughter, but she died. Her name was Joyce." And that was that. Only that's the reason we gave Jocelyn her name, so maybe that wasn't that.
I miss her still. I think of her all the time. I think of her with her old lady poof sitting in a chair knitting baby sets and mittens.
One day, I asked my Grammy why Grampa wasn't in any of Mom & Dad's wedding pictures. "We don't talk about that," she said. And that was that.
One day, we were all at Grammy's and I was braiding Elisabeth's hair. Grammy said she didn't know how to braid. I asked her if it was because she didn't have any daughters. "Well, I did have a daughter, but she died. Her name was Joyce." And that was that. Only that's the reason we gave Jocelyn her name, so maybe that wasn't that.
I miss her still. I think of her all the time. I think of her with her old lady poof sitting in a chair knitting baby sets and mittens.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
October 16, 2011
Morgan to Josh: shoes?
Josh: why do you want shoes?
Morgan: car!
Josh: where do you want to go?
Morgan: Gramma and Grampa's!
When Jocelyn outgrew her newborn clothes, I packed most of them up and put them aside for the next girl. Patience was the next girl and so they went back to Mandy's house (where many had come from in the first place). But there were some I just couldn't bare to part with. There were some that I could still see her in, her fuzzy little blonde head swimming in a sea of pink fluff. Those ones I packed back into a plastic bin and put way into the back of the basement.
This weekend we finished cleaning out the basement (we're a bit behind on returning the dumpster), and I found that bin in the back of the basement. I brought all the pink fluff upstairs and washed them, figuring I would donate them. But as I pulled each item out of the dryer, I saw her little pink head again, and pictured snuggling her in those fluffy outfits, and I just couldn't stand to let them go.
So we dragged out every doll and teddy bear we could find and dressed them up in pink frilly outfits. I helped Jocelyn cuddle each one and take deeeeep breaths in and pat their butts.
Josh asked me if it made me want another baby. No, no more babies. I just want the ones I already have to be babies again, just for a moment. I want to wrap them in towels after a bath and power their butts and dress them in warm footsie pajamas and hold them close on the couch while they fall asleep.
Just for a moment.
Josh: why do you want shoes?
Morgan: car!
Josh: where do you want to go?
Morgan: Gramma and Grampa's!
When Jocelyn outgrew her newborn clothes, I packed most of them up and put them aside for the next girl. Patience was the next girl and so they went back to Mandy's house (where many had come from in the first place). But there were some I just couldn't bare to part with. There were some that I could still see her in, her fuzzy little blonde head swimming in a sea of pink fluff. Those ones I packed back into a plastic bin and put way into the back of the basement.
This weekend we finished cleaning out the basement (we're a bit behind on returning the dumpster), and I found that bin in the back of the basement. I brought all the pink fluff upstairs and washed them, figuring I would donate them. But as I pulled each item out of the dryer, I saw her little pink head again, and pictured snuggling her in those fluffy outfits, and I just couldn't stand to let them go.
So we dragged out every doll and teddy bear we could find and dressed them up in pink frilly outfits. I helped Jocelyn cuddle each one and take deeeeep breaths in and pat their butts.
Josh asked me if it made me want another baby. No, no more babies. I just want the ones I already have to be babies again, just for a moment. I want to wrap them in towels after a bath and power their butts and dress them in warm footsie pajamas and hold them close on the couch while they fall asleep.
Just for a moment.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
October 9, 2011
Hey guys - ping ping! It's time to hear from everyone again!
It's difficult to give a speech to a silent audience, and the same goes for these emails. I so appreciate those of you who write back from time to time and tell me which stories struck a cord with you, or what's going on with you, or even just "hi". But MANY of you do not. I even forget sometimes how many people I sent these emails to, when there are so few responses! I remember a time when we all wrote weekly and all had plenty of stories to read, but that was many a moon ago...
On the subject of many a moon ago, this weekend was the second dumpster weekend! We cleaned out the closets in the front hall (one is a walk-in that I could no longer walk-in to!). Amongst the lost treasures of the front hall was a camcorder and stack of tapes, circa 1997-2001. And so we watched some movies of me looking very fat (Jesse: "Don't worry mommy, you still look beautiful, but you have a big belly"), and of Timothy having a much different head to body ratio than he does now.
I was strikingly large. I realize in much of the video I was either pregnant or up to several months post-giving-birth. But still, I was strikingly large. On the one hand it was hard to look at myself, but on the other I felt good that I don't look like that any more. And the eyebrows - yikes.
So anyway, if I haven't heard from you in the last 3 months, it's time to write back - or write a group email of your own! That would qualify as well :)
Rhonda
It's difficult to give a speech to a silent audience, and the same goes for these emails. I so appreciate those of you who write back from time to time and tell me which stories struck a cord with you, or what's going on with you, or even just "hi". But MANY of you do not. I even forget sometimes how many people I sent these emails to, when there are so few responses! I remember a time when we all wrote weekly and all had plenty of stories to read, but that was many a moon ago...
On the subject of many a moon ago, this weekend was the second dumpster weekend! We cleaned out the closets in the front hall (one is a walk-in that I could no longer walk-in to!). Amongst the lost treasures of the front hall was a camcorder and stack of tapes, circa 1997-2001. And so we watched some movies of me looking very fat (Jesse: "Don't worry mommy, you still look beautiful, but you have a big belly"), and of Timothy having a much different head to body ratio than he does now.
I was strikingly large. I realize in much of the video I was either pregnant or up to several months post-giving-birth. But still, I was strikingly large. On the one hand it was hard to look at myself, but on the other I felt good that I don't look like that any more. And the eyebrows - yikes.
So anyway, if I haven't heard from you in the last 3 months, it's time to write back - or write a group email of your own! That would qualify as well :)
Rhonda
Sunday, October 2, 2011
October 2, 2011
Well today was another first. We had Timothy's girlfriend over for the afternoon, which gave us the awkward responsibility of making sure someone else's daughter didn't get overly groped on our watch. We decided that Jocelyn and Jesse were up for the task.
We let Timothy and his lady friend watch a movie in the game room (no door on the game room) while Josh and I watched How To Train Your Dragon (which was adorable) with the other kids in the living room. Every 5 or 10 minutes I'd send one of the kids in with a message - "go tell Timothy I'm going to brush Jocelyn's hair", "did you tell Timothy's friend that you're in the first grade?", etc. Pretty effective, they looked forward to the message giving and then came back and reported location and clothing status of Timothy and his friend. They were feeling quite important, and Timothy didn't yell at them even once (I assume because he didn't want to look like a jerk in front of his friend).
A bit after the movie I noted that Jocelyn and Jesse were in the play room so I managed to mosey by and saw there were 2 heads and a blanket on the couch in the game room. Hmmm, that was no good. So I found Jesse - "Did you show Timothy's friend your cartwheel?"
There, that took care of it.
So I think we managed a mostly grope-free house for over 3 hours - phew! What a stressful afternoon! Ah but it's always about creative problem solving isn't it - the kids acted the way the kids act usually and I didn't have to be creepy mom. Win win!
Otherwise not too much news around here. We have a dumpster this weekend and next so have tried to work on filling it in between rain showers.
Jesse started staying an extra hour at school this week for a lunch bunch. He was inviting to stay and do activities and have lunch with a few kindergarteners. We didn't realize he was the ONLY one invited to stay. Just so happens that one of the kindergarteners is his BEST friend from last year and so he's just having about the greatest time in the world.
On the first day, Jesse was VERY excited to tell me about his day. After covering, in detail, what was actually in his lunch box and what order he ate it in, we finally got to the conversation that occurred at the lunch. It went something like this:
me: what did you talk about
Jesse: oh, you know, like what we did on our weekends
me: did you tell them about your new bed (my mom came down and we built him bunk beds from a kit, which turned out awesome - stairs instead of a ladder!)
Jesse: yeah
me: dd they talk about their beds too?
Jesse: no
me: so what else did you talk about?
Jesse: FACE PAINTS! And EVERYONE had had face paints some time!
Then there was a long description of the face paint conversation.
I also asked him what teachers were there and he said Miss Suzette and someone else that he didn't know. He said she asked his name.
me: did you ask her name?
Jesse: no
me: why not?
Jesse: I don't talk to adults I don't know.
me: but if you asked her name, then you'd know her.
Jesse: but I don't talk to adults I don't know, so I can't ask her.
We went in circles for a while from there. I think Jesse is even worse than Jocelyn at remembering names! Even Josh knows the kids names now and still has to prompt Jesse. I'll have to google if that's a specific part of the brain or something. Neither will make good salespeople! haha
On the subject of lunch, I was checking the kids cafeteria purchases and noticed that Timothy was averages 3 cookies and an ice cream every day and that Morgan was getting 2 cookies a day. I asked Timothy WTF and learned that he was buying dessert for the whole lunch table. I'm just so glad that he's so generous when it's not his money!
Then I emailed Morgan's teacher and asked if we could just go with one cookie a day. Turns out that each day the morning para and afternoon para switched at lunchtime, so he would ask to go to the snack line with one and then wait for the other to arrive and go again. Morgan is one heck of a problem solver when it comes to food! So they are going to start getting the update from each other now when they switch.
I went in to Morgan's school on Friday to see the place and meet with his teacher. I got to see the fitness room and meet his "favorite" teacher (the computer room teacher!) and then we went upstairs to see his room and chat about his IEP. On our way up the stairs school was letting out and hundreds of kids were coming down while we were going up. We were walking up the left side, which I thought was strange. Miss Leah was pointing to her right and yelling to the hundreds of kids descending upon us "right side! right side! on the right!" When we got to the top of the stairs and were alone, I turned to Miss Leah and said, "You know that's their left, right?"
Well I guess that's the update from here! Hope everyone had a great weekend,
Rhonda
We let Timothy and his lady friend watch a movie in the game room (no door on the game room) while Josh and I watched How To Train Your Dragon (which was adorable) with the other kids in the living room. Every 5 or 10 minutes I'd send one of the kids in with a message - "go tell Timothy I'm going to brush Jocelyn's hair", "did you tell Timothy's friend that you're in the first grade?", etc. Pretty effective, they looked forward to the message giving and then came back and reported location and clothing status of Timothy and his friend. They were feeling quite important, and Timothy didn't yell at them even once (I assume because he didn't want to look like a jerk in front of his friend).
A bit after the movie I noted that Jocelyn and Jesse were in the play room so I managed to mosey by and saw there were 2 heads and a blanket on the couch in the game room. Hmmm, that was no good. So I found Jesse - "Did you show Timothy's friend your cartwheel?"
There, that took care of it.
So I think we managed a mostly grope-free house for over 3 hours - phew! What a stressful afternoon! Ah but it's always about creative problem solving isn't it - the kids acted the way the kids act usually and I didn't have to be creepy mom. Win win!
Otherwise not too much news around here. We have a dumpster this weekend and next so have tried to work on filling it in between rain showers.
Jesse started staying an extra hour at school this week for a lunch bunch. He was inviting to stay and do activities and have lunch with a few kindergarteners. We didn't realize he was the ONLY one invited to stay. Just so happens that one of the kindergarteners is his BEST friend from last year and so he's just having about the greatest time in the world.
On the first day, Jesse was VERY excited to tell me about his day. After covering, in detail, what was actually in his lunch box and what order he ate it in, we finally got to the conversation that occurred at the lunch. It went something like this:
me: what did you talk about
Jesse: oh, you know, like what we did on our weekends
me: did you tell them about your new bed (my mom came down and we built him bunk beds from a kit, which turned out awesome - stairs instead of a ladder!)
Jesse: yeah
me: dd they talk about their beds too?
Jesse: no
me: so what else did you talk about?
Jesse: FACE PAINTS! And EVERYONE had had face paints some time!
Then there was a long description of the face paint conversation.
I also asked him what teachers were there and he said Miss Suzette and someone else that he didn't know. He said she asked his name.
me: did you ask her name?
Jesse: no
me: why not?
Jesse: I don't talk to adults I don't know.
me: but if you asked her name, then you'd know her.
Jesse: but I don't talk to adults I don't know, so I can't ask her.
We went in circles for a while from there. I think Jesse is even worse than Jocelyn at remembering names! Even Josh knows the kids names now and still has to prompt Jesse. I'll have to google if that's a specific part of the brain or something. Neither will make good salespeople! haha
On the subject of lunch, I was checking the kids cafeteria purchases and noticed that Timothy was averages 3 cookies and an ice cream every day and that Morgan was getting 2 cookies a day. I asked Timothy WTF and learned that he was buying dessert for the whole lunch table. I'm just so glad that he's so generous when it's not his money!
Then I emailed Morgan's teacher and asked if we could just go with one cookie a day. Turns out that each day the morning para and afternoon para switched at lunchtime, so he would ask to go to the snack line with one and then wait for the other to arrive and go again. Morgan is one heck of a problem solver when it comes to food! So they are going to start getting the update from each other now when they switch.
I went in to Morgan's school on Friday to see the place and meet with his teacher. I got to see the fitness room and meet his "favorite" teacher (the computer room teacher!) and then we went upstairs to see his room and chat about his IEP. On our way up the stairs school was letting out and hundreds of kids were coming down while we were going up. We were walking up the left side, which I thought was strange. Miss Leah was pointing to her right and yelling to the hundreds of kids descending upon us "right side! right side! on the right!" When we got to the top of the stairs and were alone, I turned to Miss Leah and said, "You know that's their left, right?"
Well I guess that's the update from here! Hope everyone had a great weekend,
Rhonda
Sunday, September 25, 2011
September 25, 2011
Besides having a visit from Josh's parents and brother this weekend, my mother also was here Friday night and into Saturday for a project weekend! We painted Jesse's room and built him new bunk beds from a kit.
The room has one blue wall (which I was smart enough to do last weekend since I knew it had to be dry before we did the next color) and 3 tan walls. I got home early on Friday and we replaced the light over the kitchen table and got 2 coats on all 3 walls before enjoying shabbos dinner with the Rosenbaum clan.
The bunk beds were quite a project! I was up earlier than my mom (surprising!) and had Timothy help me drag 4 of the 5 boxes it came in in from the garage. I say drag because we couldn't really carry them so just lifted them into the house and onto a blanket and then dragged them across the floor into the game room. There I found that each box contained... a box. The 2nd box contained all the pieces and hardware. It took me over an hour to get everything unpacked, and by the end I was a tired sweaty mess! It didn't help that we've had quite a humid weekend.
The last box was so heavy that I couldn't actually lift it at all, so once my mom was up we unpacked it in the garage and carried everything in in pieces.
Once I had all the hardware laid out and labeled on a big piece of cardboard, it was almost 8:30am and we were ready to start! Four and a half short hours later, we were ready for the unveiling.
You can find pictures of the room here:
gallery.me.com/lessardr#100374
Jesse LOVES it and has thanked me a billion times, including first thing this morning when his head was less than an inch from mine as I opened my eyes. He and Jocelyn had a sleepover in there last night, but of course Jesse got the top bunk.
Mom went home after a nice shabbos lunch with the Rosenbaums and then I had to take a bath for about 90 minutes because once I was in, I couldn't get out - I'm so sore! It didn't help that Friday afternoon was our Department outing and we bowled and then did laser tag and bumper cars. I have to believe that unloading the boxes was the hardest part, because the alternative is to admit that my 61-year-old mother is in much better shape than I am, and I really don't want to cop to that.
Today Josh and his parents and his brothers are at an event at the University of Hartford, which means this morning Josh and I went to Men's Warehouse to buy him a suit. When we got there, it was "buy one get one for $100" so I got one for Timothy just based on his pants size. I told the guy that he's a 33x32 so he gave me a 34x32 just in case (both suits were hemmed before we were even done checking out!) and thank goodness because they are none too big. Luckily the jacket is and the jacket and pants were separates so we can a) let these pants out up to 3 more inches at the waist and 6 at the hem, and b) then buy the next size pants in the same color assuming the jacket still fits. Not bad! Of course, Josh's suit was somewhat more expensive, and once we had rather overpriced shirts, ties, belts, and shoes, well, we pretty much needed another mortgage. But I got to say ta-ta to 2 very nice looking fellas this afternoon! And Timothy says maybe he'll wear it for his 8th grade dance in the spring. There's a picture of him in the suit in the link above.
Starting tomorrow Jesse will get to stay at school for an extra hour each day to have lunch with a smaller group of friends. He is VERY excited.
Jocelyn informed me that she got sent to the "thinking chair" twice this week for forgetting the rules about no talking to your friends. I asked how long she had to stay, and she told me that you have to take ten deep breaths and then think about your community and what it means to be part of a community. Well isn't that just something that I'm not sure how I feel about. I suppose it's better than hitting her with a ruler. Josh has some choice words for the entire process, but I don't think I need to share those :).
Morgan is loving school. He especially likes the fitness room still and so he's been getting to go there twice a day as the reward for doing his work. That's way better than the "one M&M per minute for not hitting anyone" approach we had to take a few years back!
Well I have to go get these kids some leftovers for dinner. Hope everyone had a good weekend!
Rhonda
The room has one blue wall (which I was smart enough to do last weekend since I knew it had to be dry before we did the next color) and 3 tan walls. I got home early on Friday and we replaced the light over the kitchen table and got 2 coats on all 3 walls before enjoying shabbos dinner with the Rosenbaum clan.
The bunk beds were quite a project! I was up earlier than my mom (surprising!) and had Timothy help me drag 4 of the 5 boxes it came in in from the garage. I say drag because we couldn't really carry them so just lifted them into the house and onto a blanket and then dragged them across the floor into the game room. There I found that each box contained... a box. The 2nd box contained all the pieces and hardware. It took me over an hour to get everything unpacked, and by the end I was a tired sweaty mess! It didn't help that we've had quite a humid weekend.
The last box was so heavy that I couldn't actually lift it at all, so once my mom was up we unpacked it in the garage and carried everything in in pieces.
Once I had all the hardware laid out and labeled on a big piece of cardboard, it was almost 8:30am and we were ready to start! Four and a half short hours later, we were ready for the unveiling.
You can find pictures of the room here:
gallery.me.com/lessardr#100374
Jesse LOVES it and has thanked me a billion times, including first thing this morning when his head was less than an inch from mine as I opened my eyes. He and Jocelyn had a sleepover in there last night, but of course Jesse got the top bunk.
Mom went home after a nice shabbos lunch with the Rosenbaums and then I had to take a bath for about 90 minutes because once I was in, I couldn't get out - I'm so sore! It didn't help that Friday afternoon was our Department outing and we bowled and then did laser tag and bumper cars. I have to believe that unloading the boxes was the hardest part, because the alternative is to admit that my 61-year-old mother is in much better shape than I am, and I really don't want to cop to that.
Today Josh and his parents and his brothers are at an event at the University of Hartford, which means this morning Josh and I went to Men's Warehouse to buy him a suit. When we got there, it was "buy one get one for $100" so I got one for Timothy just based on his pants size. I told the guy that he's a 33x32 so he gave me a 34x32 just in case (both suits were hemmed before we were even done checking out!) and thank goodness because they are none too big. Luckily the jacket is and the jacket and pants were separates so we can a) let these pants out up to 3 more inches at the waist and 6 at the hem, and b) then buy the next size pants in the same color assuming the jacket still fits. Not bad! Of course, Josh's suit was somewhat more expensive, and once we had rather overpriced shirts, ties, belts, and shoes, well, we pretty much needed another mortgage. But I got to say ta-ta to 2 very nice looking fellas this afternoon! And Timothy says maybe he'll wear it for his 8th grade dance in the spring. There's a picture of him in the suit in the link above.
Starting tomorrow Jesse will get to stay at school for an extra hour each day to have lunch with a smaller group of friends. He is VERY excited.
Jocelyn informed me that she got sent to the "thinking chair" twice this week for forgetting the rules about no talking to your friends. I asked how long she had to stay, and she told me that you have to take ten deep breaths and then think about your community and what it means to be part of a community. Well isn't that just something that I'm not sure how I feel about. I suppose it's better than hitting her with a ruler. Josh has some choice words for the entire process, but I don't think I need to share those :).
Morgan is loving school. He especially likes the fitness room still and so he's been getting to go there twice a day as the reward for doing his work. That's way better than the "one M&M per minute for not hitting anyone" approach we had to take a few years back!
Well I have to go get these kids some leftovers for dinner. Hope everyone had a good weekend!
Rhonda
Saturday, September 10, 2011
September 10, 2011
I attended my 3rd Leadership Forum this week and found it inspiring and informative as usual. This one was different in that it was held at the Cleveland Clinic instead of Hartford.
Now, I'm not exactly a "yay I get to travel somewhere new" kind of person, especially when it involves an airport. It's not that I don't like flying, the actual flying part of flying is actually still fun for me and I was able to get window seats for each leg, which I enjoyed. It's the rest of the stuff that goes with flying that I don't care for.
The cheapest flight option I had was to leave Hartford at 10:10am on Wednesday, spend 2.5 hours in Baltimore, then on to Cleveland. A direct flight was 3 times the cost, so long layover it was. (See Terrie F? See how I think about expenses?). I was not the only cost-conscientious leader and so 10 of us were together in Baltimore awaiting our next flight.
And then it started to rain.
A LOT.
And so around 1:20pm, about 10 min before our flight was to board, it was canceled, and 10 of us watched the rest of our plane-mates rush in an every-person-for-themselves manner to the Southwest counter to get on a later flight.
I called Sheila instead. Between Sheila and 2 other EAs, 2 travel agents were on the case for all 10 of us. We headed to the Southwest counter, together, to stand in the long long line. Before we made it to the front of the line, travel had confirmed they couldn't get us on another Southwest flight, which was unlikely to take off anyway. They got us on Continental instead (which was a very far walk!). So we all headed over to Continental, which had a surprisingly shorter line, and got our boarding passes. Then back through security, where I totally forgot that I had purchased a water in between Southwest and Continental and so that $1.99 was not money well spent.
By now it was around 2:30pm and the flight, which was originally scheduled to depart at 3:30pm, was delayed until 4pm. Ok, not too bad. We all parked ourselves in a bar and got comfortable.
Then it was delayed until 4:30pm.
Then it was delayed until 5pm.
Then it was delayed until 5:30pm.
Then it was delayed until 6pm. By now we would have been better off having driven from Hartford! But it wasn't canceled yet, and we were comfortable at the bar, so life wasn't so bad.
We did finally get to board a bit past 6 and we did make it to Cleveland, even though we missed the welcome reception. All's well that ends well.
The Cleveland Clinic is a massive place, and we had so many great speakers at the forum. I'm anxious to tell you about everything I learned, but if I type it out now, I'll be here all day! I think that I'll pick one topic each Friday for the next few Fridays so I can do each one justice. For now I'll just mention that I was a bit ashamed to not know that there's an Aetna iPhone app, which I downloaded onto my iPad while there during a group scavenger hunt where we had to locate different types of providers in different zip codes. So we all logged into Aetna Navigator on our various mobile devices and off we went to scavenge!
By Friday I was definitely nervous about making it home. I had a 3:25pm flight from Cleveland to Baltimore connecting to a 5:45pm flight to Hartford. Before we left Cleveland, we knew the connecting flight was delayed. That couldn't be a good sign! Somehow we had picked up more friends heading home and now there were 20 of us hanging out at gate B6 in Baltimore waiting for news that we'd be able to actually get home. We managed to entertain ourselves and each other and the delay ended up being less than an hour, so by about 6:30pm we were headed home! Yay!
The descent into Hartford was as the sun was setting and the view was so pretty. I was glad to be home, and I was glad to have gone to the forum, even if it wasn't exactly a smooth trip.
Josh picked me up at the airport and the kids cheered my homecoming and chattered away about their week, each getting progressively louder so as to be heard over the other. Such a comforting noise!
As I reflect on the trip out, I realize that I was really happy not to be alone. I am not often categorized as a "people-person", yet being in a group of people with which I was only mildly acquainted made the whole situation tolerable. Had I been alone, I'm quite sure the stress level would have been exponentially larger. And had I not had Sheila on the other end of the phone saying don't worry, I'll find someone to take care of you, well that I can't even imagine.
Don't worry, I'll find someone to take care of you.
That's a powerful sentence, and it's something that Aetna does every day. Nurses reach out to patients that may be scared or not knowing what to do or alone or all three of these things and more, and they say "Don't worry, I'll find someone to take care of you."
At the Cleveland Clinic, on every employee's badge, it says "Caregiver". Every employee, from the janitors to the surgeons to the CEO. Every employee is a caregiver.
Before this week, I thought of providers as very different from payers, perhaps even enemies of each other.
I don't think that any more.
I hope everyone is having a fantastic weekend!
Rhonda
Now, I'm not exactly a "yay I get to travel somewhere new" kind of person, especially when it involves an airport. It's not that I don't like flying, the actual flying part of flying is actually still fun for me and I was able to get window seats for each leg, which I enjoyed. It's the rest of the stuff that goes with flying that I don't care for.
The cheapest flight option I had was to leave Hartford at 10:10am on Wednesday, spend 2.5 hours in Baltimore, then on to Cleveland. A direct flight was 3 times the cost, so long layover it was. (See Terrie F? See how I think about expenses?). I was not the only cost-conscientious leader and so 10 of us were together in Baltimore awaiting our next flight.
And then it started to rain.
A LOT.
And so around 1:20pm, about 10 min before our flight was to board, it was canceled, and 10 of us watched the rest of our plane-mates rush in an every-person-for-themselves manner to the Southwest counter to get on a later flight.
I called Sheila instead. Between Sheila and 2 other EAs, 2 travel agents were on the case for all 10 of us. We headed to the Southwest counter, together, to stand in the long long line. Before we made it to the front of the line, travel had confirmed they couldn't get us on another Southwest flight, which was unlikely to take off anyway. They got us on Continental instead (which was a very far walk!). So we all headed over to Continental, which had a surprisingly shorter line, and got our boarding passes. Then back through security, where I totally forgot that I had purchased a water in between Southwest and Continental and so that $1.99 was not money well spent.
By now it was around 2:30pm and the flight, which was originally scheduled to depart at 3:30pm, was delayed until 4pm. Ok, not too bad. We all parked ourselves in a bar and got comfortable.
Then it was delayed until 4:30pm.
Then it was delayed until 5pm.
Then it was delayed until 5:30pm.
Then it was delayed until 6pm. By now we would have been better off having driven from Hartford! But it wasn't canceled yet, and we were comfortable at the bar, so life wasn't so bad.
We did finally get to board a bit past 6 and we did make it to Cleveland, even though we missed the welcome reception. All's well that ends well.
The Cleveland Clinic is a massive place, and we had so many great speakers at the forum. I'm anxious to tell you about everything I learned, but if I type it out now, I'll be here all day! I think that I'll pick one topic each Friday for the next few Fridays so I can do each one justice. For now I'll just mention that I was a bit ashamed to not know that there's an Aetna iPhone app, which I downloaded onto my iPad while there during a group scavenger hunt where we had to locate different types of providers in different zip codes. So we all logged into Aetna Navigator on our various mobile devices and off we went to scavenge!
By Friday I was definitely nervous about making it home. I had a 3:25pm flight from Cleveland to Baltimore connecting to a 5:45pm flight to Hartford. Before we left Cleveland, we knew the connecting flight was delayed. That couldn't be a good sign! Somehow we had picked up more friends heading home and now there were 20 of us hanging out at gate B6 in Baltimore waiting for news that we'd be able to actually get home. We managed to entertain ourselves and each other and the delay ended up being less than an hour, so by about 6:30pm we were headed home! Yay!
The descent into Hartford was as the sun was setting and the view was so pretty. I was glad to be home, and I was glad to have gone to the forum, even if it wasn't exactly a smooth trip.
Josh picked me up at the airport and the kids cheered my homecoming and chattered away about their week, each getting progressively louder so as to be heard over the other. Such a comforting noise!
As I reflect on the trip out, I realize that I was really happy not to be alone. I am not often categorized as a "people-person", yet being in a group of people with which I was only mildly acquainted made the whole situation tolerable. Had I been alone, I'm quite sure the stress level would have been exponentially larger. And had I not had Sheila on the other end of the phone saying don't worry, I'll find someone to take care of you, well that I can't even imagine.
Don't worry, I'll find someone to take care of you.
That's a powerful sentence, and it's something that Aetna does every day. Nurses reach out to patients that may be scared or not knowing what to do or alone or all three of these things and more, and they say "Don't worry, I'll find someone to take care of you."
At the Cleveland Clinic, on every employee's badge, it says "Caregiver". Every employee, from the janitors to the surgeons to the CEO. Every employee is a caregiver.
Before this week, I thought of providers as very different from payers, perhaps even enemies of each other.
I don't think that any more.
I hope everyone is having a fantastic weekend!
Rhonda
Friday, September 2, 2011
September 2, 2011
I get so stressed out by the start of school!
My first step in being completely overwhelmed by the start of school is the ridiculously long list of school supplies that comes home with each child. Well, ok, the littler kids aren't much of an issue - scissors, glue sticks, colored pencils. But the older 2 are in middle school so the list is quite extensive, including graphing calculators and memory sticks! So $400 at Staples later I end up with a big piles of items in my home, and now have to figure out what goes with what kid and assemble it and get it into backpacks. To maximize the stress involved, I leave this to almost the last minute.
While going through the lists, I notice that Jocelyn's note says they will spend the first day of school discussing the All About Me posters they have been working on all summer. ACK! What All About Me posters?!?! I search the house for the stack of end-of-the-year letters that we got in June, only to find that either my husband threw them away or my house ate them (impossible to tell which). So we take a break from organizing back packs to make a poster.
Then Timothy learns the hard way that opening his 3 ring binder is not done via brute force but rather by pushing a button. Ack! I didn't get a back-up! What to do what to do what to do what to do ok here's the plan - give Morgan's to Timothy so he has one that's not broken, give broken one to Morgan who probably won't use a binder anyway since it's annoying, email Morgan's special ed teacher than it's broken and if he needs another I'll get one this weekend, put extra notebooks in Morgan's backpack. Ok, that's a plan. Take deep breaths.
Jesse needs an extra set of clothes in a freezer bag with his name on it and a stuffed animal for the first day and a picture for the second day. Jocelyn needs two snacks and a water bottle. Morgan needs extra clothes and a snack and a water bottle. Morgan has chewed the tops on most of the water bottles. I can't send Jocelyn to school with a chewed water bottle top! The one without the chewed top says "Eli Terry Elementary". Jocelyn goes to Philip R Smith. Well that's just a faux pas. I think my mother gave me a bag of water bottles from her day care and I threw them in a closet somewhere. Which closet was it? Why do we have to have so many closets in this house? No wait, without them would be much worse. Just breathe.
Jocelyn will be buying lunch in the cafeteria for the first time. They don't exchange cash any more, they have a PIN that they have to remember and it draws down an account that I can make deposits to. Jocelyn is not good at remembering things. I make her repeat the number back to me 50 times in a 24 hour period.
Jocelyn's name tag that came in the mail has the wrong bus stop on it and we have to call the bus company and change it and then fix the name tag.
Morgan will be picked up at 7:16 at the house and Timothy at 7:30 down the street and I leave the house each morning at 7 and all of us have to shower. Well, maybe I won't need to shower here if I have to be committed before the first day of school!
And so it's 10pm on Tuesday, the eve of the first day of school and only Morgan is actually asleep. Timothy is a nervous wreck, which I completely understand because you simply could not pay me enough to be in the 8th grade again. His clothes are laid out on the floor in the shape of a person. I happily note that he included clean underwear in the ensemble. Jocelyn and Jesse are too excited to sleep. Wait - clothes! We forgot to pick out clothes for them! How can we possibly decide on the fly in the morning?!
Wednesday morning ends up going fairly smoothly. I worked from home so I could braid Jocelyn's hair and take pictures at the bus stop and then meet her bus in the afternoon. She stepped off the bus and yelled - "first grade is AWESOME!" On the walk home I heard about the most important part of the day - lunch. The cafeteria is awesome, the food is awesome, and chocolate milk is awesome. Her teacher is awesome, her friends are awesome, and recess is awesome. I asked about the poster and she said, "Oh, I just gave that to my teacher, only me and Jamie did them."
Timothy's bus was late to drop him off but he got home just the same. The "popular kids" already don't like him but he found friends to sit with at lunch, including a new kid from Virginia Beach.
Morgan's note says he did fine and went to all his classes and also to the gym.
Jesse goes only in the mornings and it's the same school and teacher as last year, so his transition was easiest. He reported that only 2 kids cried - one loudly and one softly - and 1 kid tried to run away but the teacher caught him. Also he had crackers and juice for snack and didn't fall in any puddles. (He had asked why he needed extra clothes for school and I couldn't really think of any good reason to tell him because if I said it was in case he had an accident, he would argue that he hasn't had an accident ever that he can remember, so I told him it was in case he fell in a puddle, at which point he suggested that he bring 2 sets of extra clothes in case he fell in 2 puddles).
Then it was time for my homework - take the 8 thousand forms out of each backpack, being careful to not forget which form goes with which kid, fill out my name and phone numbers over and over, tell what each teacher should know about my child, decline the additional insurance, agree they will follow the bus rules, agree they can use the internet at school and have pictures published on the school web site, etc etc etc. It took me an hour! And even after all that I was missing a form where I would agree to review Morgan's planner each night, which is fairly silly since I don't really think I will, but still, one must complete all the forms! So I had to write a note back to the teacher to please send another.
So we made it through. Josh ended up with his first 2 hours of kid-free time in 13 years, but he hasn't quite figured out what to do with that yet. Though yesterday he went to Target and bought a carpet shampooer and came home and washed the living room carpet, so that was nice.
Oh, and yesterday, we got the first fund raiser. Anyone want to order cookies??
My first step in being completely overwhelmed by the start of school is the ridiculously long list of school supplies that comes home with each child. Well, ok, the littler kids aren't much of an issue - scissors, glue sticks, colored pencils. But the older 2 are in middle school so the list is quite extensive, including graphing calculators and memory sticks! So $400 at Staples later I end up with a big piles of items in my home, and now have to figure out what goes with what kid and assemble it and get it into backpacks. To maximize the stress involved, I leave this to almost the last minute.
While going through the lists, I notice that Jocelyn's note says they will spend the first day of school discussing the All About Me posters they have been working on all summer. ACK! What All About Me posters?!?! I search the house for the stack of end-of-the-year letters that we got in June, only to find that either my husband threw them away or my house ate them (impossible to tell which). So we take a break from organizing back packs to make a poster.
Then Timothy learns the hard way that opening his 3 ring binder is not done via brute force but rather by pushing a button. Ack! I didn't get a back-up! What to do what to do what to do what to do ok here's the plan - give Morgan's to Timothy so he has one that's not broken, give broken one to Morgan who probably won't use a binder anyway since it's annoying, email Morgan's special ed teacher than it's broken and if he needs another I'll get one this weekend, put extra notebooks in Morgan's backpack. Ok, that's a plan. Take deep breaths.
Jesse needs an extra set of clothes in a freezer bag with his name on it and a stuffed animal for the first day and a picture for the second day. Jocelyn needs two snacks and a water bottle. Morgan needs extra clothes and a snack and a water bottle. Morgan has chewed the tops on most of the water bottles. I can't send Jocelyn to school with a chewed water bottle top! The one without the chewed top says "Eli Terry Elementary". Jocelyn goes to Philip R Smith. Well that's just a faux pas. I think my mother gave me a bag of water bottles from her day care and I threw them in a closet somewhere. Which closet was it? Why do we have to have so many closets in this house? No wait, without them would be much worse. Just breathe.
Jocelyn will be buying lunch in the cafeteria for the first time. They don't exchange cash any more, they have a PIN that they have to remember and it draws down an account that I can make deposits to. Jocelyn is not good at remembering things. I make her repeat the number back to me 50 times in a 24 hour period.
Jocelyn's name tag that came in the mail has the wrong bus stop on it and we have to call the bus company and change it and then fix the name tag.
Morgan will be picked up at 7:16 at the house and Timothy at 7:30 down the street and I leave the house each morning at 7 and all of us have to shower. Well, maybe I won't need to shower here if I have to be committed before the first day of school!
And so it's 10pm on Tuesday, the eve of the first day of school and only Morgan is actually asleep. Timothy is a nervous wreck, which I completely understand because you simply could not pay me enough to be in the 8th grade again. His clothes are laid out on the floor in the shape of a person. I happily note that he included clean underwear in the ensemble. Jocelyn and Jesse are too excited to sleep. Wait - clothes! We forgot to pick out clothes for them! How can we possibly decide on the fly in the morning?!
Wednesday morning ends up going fairly smoothly. I worked from home so I could braid Jocelyn's hair and take pictures at the bus stop and then meet her bus in the afternoon. She stepped off the bus and yelled - "first grade is AWESOME!" On the walk home I heard about the most important part of the day - lunch. The cafeteria is awesome, the food is awesome, and chocolate milk is awesome. Her teacher is awesome, her friends are awesome, and recess is awesome. I asked about the poster and she said, "Oh, I just gave that to my teacher, only me and Jamie did them."
Timothy's bus was late to drop him off but he got home just the same. The "popular kids" already don't like him but he found friends to sit with at lunch, including a new kid from Virginia Beach.
Morgan's note says he did fine and went to all his classes and also to the gym.
Jesse goes only in the mornings and it's the same school and teacher as last year, so his transition was easiest. He reported that only 2 kids cried - one loudly and one softly - and 1 kid tried to run away but the teacher caught him. Also he had crackers and juice for snack and didn't fall in any puddles. (He had asked why he needed extra clothes for school and I couldn't really think of any good reason to tell him because if I said it was in case he had an accident, he would argue that he hasn't had an accident ever that he can remember, so I told him it was in case he fell in a puddle, at which point he suggested that he bring 2 sets of extra clothes in case he fell in 2 puddles).
Then it was time for my homework - take the 8 thousand forms out of each backpack, being careful to not forget which form goes with which kid, fill out my name and phone numbers over and over, tell what each teacher should know about my child, decline the additional insurance, agree they will follow the bus rules, agree they can use the internet at school and have pictures published on the school web site, etc etc etc. It took me an hour! And even after all that I was missing a form where I would agree to review Morgan's planner each night, which is fairly silly since I don't really think I will, but still, one must complete all the forms! So I had to write a note back to the teacher to please send another.
So we made it through. Josh ended up with his first 2 hours of kid-free time in 13 years, but he hasn't quite figured out what to do with that yet. Though yesterday he went to Target and bought a carpet shampooer and came home and washed the living room carpet, so that was nice.
Oh, and yesterday, we got the first fund raiser. Anyone want to order cookies??
Monday, August 29, 2011
August 29, 2011
Hope everyone is doing ok and has power - we're good here. We managed to sleep through most of the interesting part of Irene, but did wake up in time to be outside to watch the neighbor's tree crack in the middle and gently fold in half, hitting nothing and staying out of the street. How cool is that? The fact that we didn't lose power is nothing short of a miracle, and we are soooo thankful because right now half the state is in the dark and may be for up to a week. That's a super bummer! So besides our yard being now a collection of leaves and sticks, no harm done. I had a nice easy drive to work as apparently most people decided not to bother. There clearly HAD been trees blocking several main streets but had already been cut up and moved to the side of the road.
In other exciting news, we also (as obviously many of you did too) had an earthquake last week. Josh said he didn't feel it, but it was very obvious in my 5th floor office at work. I was on a conference call, staring at the phone, and suddenly wondered if I was having vertigo or started drinking at work without knowing it. I turned my head to the side and noted that my monitor was shaking. I muted the phone and shouted to my staff, "is this building moving?" Not used to earthquakes, I guess many buildings in Hartford evacuated, which even I know is the about dumbest thing you can do in an earthquake. But at good ol' Aetna, they didn't even send out a note or anything. We like to not panic :)
The kids are still scheduled to start school on Wednesday, so tonight I did the annual "freak out and make sure everyone has the proper school supplies in their backpack" dance. Not a particularly fun dance, and even after all this time I'm still really bad at it. Somehow I missed the fact that Jocelyn was supposed to do an "all about me" poster, so Josh will be helping her do that tomorrow. Morgan's bus picks him up at 7:16am this year! Josh ought to have fun with that!
So to summarize - earthquake, hurricane, school-supply-freak-out. Hope everyone else is having fun too!
In other exciting news, we also (as obviously many of you did too) had an earthquake last week. Josh said he didn't feel it, but it was very obvious in my 5th floor office at work. I was on a conference call, staring at the phone, and suddenly wondered if I was having vertigo or started drinking at work without knowing it. I turned my head to the side and noted that my monitor was shaking. I muted the phone and shouted to my staff, "is this building moving?" Not used to earthquakes, I guess many buildings in Hartford evacuated, which even I know is the about dumbest thing you can do in an earthquake. But at good ol' Aetna, they didn't even send out a note or anything. We like to not panic :)
The kids are still scheduled to start school on Wednesday, so tonight I did the annual "freak out and make sure everyone has the proper school supplies in their backpack" dance. Not a particularly fun dance, and even after all this time I'm still really bad at it. Somehow I missed the fact that Jocelyn was supposed to do an "all about me" poster, so Josh will be helping her do that tomorrow. Morgan's bus picks him up at 7:16am this year! Josh ought to have fun with that!
So to summarize - earthquake, hurricane, school-supply-freak-out. Hope everyone else is having fun too!
Sunday, August 21, 2011
August 21, 2011
Well I'm sure you're just all on the edge of your seats wondering what we did on vacation... let's see how much I can remember.
We headed up Friday afternoon (8/5) and met Elisabeth & Family at the Howard Johnson's in South Portland. We hung out for the evening and ordered in pizza. Rob took the kids out on the lawn and played some football - so nice being related to someone that can't sit still! I tried to hold Reese but it didn't work out for me, and in fact I found it best to avoid eye contact.
Saturday morning we went over and visited Grammy & Grampa at the cemetery. Elisabeth remembered to bring painted stones to leave behind, and I brought a beer for Grampa. We walked around the cemetery for a while - I find them fascinating. Elisabeth and I agreed that there should be a little button to push to get an audio story of the people buried at each grave.
After the grave visit, we went over to Chuck E. Cheese's at the Maine Mall. The kids had SOOOO much fun! Jesse was hysterical on the basketball game, shooting granny-style and actually making quite a few! Jocelyn made several friends that followed her around the whole time. Then she found the stage where there was a camera shooting a live feed to a TV screen. Yeah, that was a hit. We collectively got enough tickets for 6 foam shooter thingys and some rulers.
We temporarily parted with Elisabeth & family and headed up to Sebago to get checked in and settled and meet up with Uncle Joey who did our grocery shopping for us and met us at the cabin. It was warm so we through the sheets on the beds and hopped into the water. Mandy & gang showed up around 7 and after we put the kids to bed we drank the night away down by the lake.
Sunday morning we were joined by Elisabeth & family and mom and dad for more swimming and italian sandwiches and birthday cake for Patience. Mandy and Elisabeth and I walked the kids down to the baseball field. We tried playing baseball. Patience got to go first because it was her birthday but when it wasn't her turn EVERY time, well, it seems that was a personal insult. Jocelyn was just as happy to prance around the infield not really paying attention, and was surprisingly the only child to hit the ball with the first swing. We switched to pickle and Timothy managed to run into Chase and knock him over, so now Chase was crying and Timothy was pouting because I yelled at him for not realizing that he's 5'5" 130lbs and Chase is not. With 3 of 7 kids in a snit, we decided it was time to pack it in and do some more swimming. That was a much bigger hit!
Mandy and Elisabeth and their respective crews cleared out a bit before dinner and the rest of us grabbed leftover sandwiches and then swam some more before bed.
Monday Mom treated us to lobsters and pizza. Dad and Morgan paced while Mom and Jocelyn and Jesse and I went out to pick it up. Jocelyn ate more than a whole lobster on her own. Jesse tried a bite then said he liked it but would prefer pizza. Timothy also had a lobster. Morgan and Dad stuck with the pizza. Joey was out in Naples on the Songo River Queen Tour.
Tuesday morning Mom and Dad cut out before we were up. The rest of us took a while to get out of bed and lolled around until after a late breakfast. Then Joey and Josh and Morgan headed over to Kettle Cove to rent us a boat for the afternoon. Morgan wouldn't get on the boat so Joey brought him back while Josh drove the boat over. We had more luck getting Morgan into the boat from the cabin, though it was still a bit touch and go. Once in though, he seemed quite content and we all had fun tooling around the lake. Then, suddenly, Morgan was unhappy. I got back next to him and managed to figure out that his shoulders were hot from the sun. I should have put him in a t-shirt! But once I covered his shoulders with a towel he quieted down and we headed back. We rested and swam for a while and then I took all the kids but Timothy inside while Josh and Joey and Timothy went back out on the boat and then returned it.
Wednesday we finally got around to going to the Ice Cream Dugout for ice creams. Jocelyn and Jesse had a competition for who could be messiest. It was a close call, I think they may have each independently set a world record. Morgan likes the ice cream part but not the cone part, but he also won't use a spoon, so we have to get a cone even though he won't eat it. When he gets to the bottom of the cone he scoops the end of the ice cream out with his fingers, putting an end to the myth that ice cream isn't finger food.
Thursday Josh and Joey took the kids on a drive around the lake and then picked us up blizzards from DQ because it was Miracle Treat day where they donated $1 from each blizzard to fight Childhood Cancer. You know, normally I would never advocate 2 ice cream days in a row, but it was a worthy cause, so what could we do??
Friday Uncle Joey headed home and Josh went out and got more groceries to keep us through the weekend as we try not to make a habit of leaving the cabin on the weekend and fighting all the traffic. We spent the weekend swimming and resting and swimming some more. I found spray on sunscreen horribly inefficient and it took a whole can just to coat the 5 of us (everyone but Mr. I-Don't-Burn) where as a regular bottle lasted me the whole two weeks. Sunscreening 4 kids plus myself was the only bummer of the whole trip, so I refused to do it more than once a day. So we swam during sunlight once and then waited until after dinner for the 2nd swim each day. Timothy burning on two swipes of his arms where I thought he did the sunscreen and he thought I did. Otherwise no burns except for Mr. I-Don't-Burn, but that wasn't until later in the week...
Over the weekend we bribed Jocelyn into jumping off the dock (with a life jacket on). It cost us $2 and the promise of another lobster. Money well spent as after only one jump she was addicted and did it about a thousand times over the next week (taking off the life jacket after only a couple jumps).
We had rain all day Monday so we went up to Bridgton to shop at Cool Moose and the party store - our annual outing. Josh and Morgan stayed in the car and watched videos on the computer. The rest of us ventured inside to get t-shirts and one toy each. Then we stopped at the fudge store and got 1 1/2 lbs of assorted fudge - yum!
Tuesday started out rainy as well so I took Timothy and Jesse and Jocelyn and we went to Mexicali Blues for more t-shirts (for Josh and Timothy) and a purse for Jocelyn and a wallet for Jesse. Then we went to the Salvation Army and got Timothy a suit, boots for me, Timothy, and Morgan, sneakers and snowpants for Jesse, and some assorted clothing (including of course, a blue velvet dress for Jocelyn). By the time we got home the rain had cleared and it was time to swim some more!
Wednesday and Thursday were gorgeous and we spent most of our time in the water. Jocelyn started getting the hang of swimming. She could already swim underwater fairly well but put her feet down whenever she came up for air. Then she sort of figured out the doggie-paddle. Then once she figured out how to combine the two she was quite pleased with herself. Jesse stuck to wearing a life jacket, which allowed him to go out deep with Josh and Timothy to play football. Jocelyn was too scared to go over her head until almost the last day when she finally figured out the miracle of a life jacket as well. Once that happened we even managed to coax her up onto the raft and she and I jumped off of it holding hands. After that she jumped all by herself, several times.
Jocelyn and Jesse were cutest when they were playing together nicely, which was surprisingly frequent. They would play on kickboards together in the water and then get wrapped up in towels and sit on the dock together. It was super sweet.
Friday we cleaned and packed and swam and cleaned and packed and swam one last time, getting out as thunder rolled in. We hustled into the car and were on our way home around 6pm. Jocelyn cried for the better part of a half hour, talking about how much she was going to miss vacation. Jesse fell asleep by the time we hit the highway and slept until CT, giving us quite a peaceful trip home! We stopped at a different rest stop than usual and ended up having to use port-a-potties. Jocelyn was NOT impressed with them.
Saturday it was time to get some school supplies so Timothy and I headed to Staples and bought about one of everything they had. Then we headed over to TJMax and Timothy picked out some new clothes while I grabbed an outfit for each of Jocelyn and Jesse (showing up at home with only things for Timothy would not have been a popular move!).
We've gotten the bags out of the car and generally into the right room, but actually unpacking them will wait. A bit more than a week before school starts. We got Jocelyn's PIN for buying school lunch in the mail, and her bus number and tag. The short bus will be picking Morgan up at 7:16am!!
Well that's the story of the last two weeks!
Rhonda
We headed up Friday afternoon (8/5) and met Elisabeth & Family at the Howard Johnson's in South Portland. We hung out for the evening and ordered in pizza. Rob took the kids out on the lawn and played some football - so nice being related to someone that can't sit still! I tried to hold Reese but it didn't work out for me, and in fact I found it best to avoid eye contact.
Saturday morning we went over and visited Grammy & Grampa at the cemetery. Elisabeth remembered to bring painted stones to leave behind, and I brought a beer for Grampa. We walked around the cemetery for a while - I find them fascinating. Elisabeth and I agreed that there should be a little button to push to get an audio story of the people buried at each grave.
After the grave visit, we went over to Chuck E. Cheese's at the Maine Mall. The kids had SOOOO much fun! Jesse was hysterical on the basketball game, shooting granny-style and actually making quite a few! Jocelyn made several friends that followed her around the whole time. Then she found the stage where there was a camera shooting a live feed to a TV screen. Yeah, that was a hit. We collectively got enough tickets for 6 foam shooter thingys and some rulers.
We temporarily parted with Elisabeth & family and headed up to Sebago to get checked in and settled and meet up with Uncle Joey who did our grocery shopping for us and met us at the cabin. It was warm so we through the sheets on the beds and hopped into the water. Mandy & gang showed up around 7 and after we put the kids to bed we drank the night away down by the lake.
Sunday morning we were joined by Elisabeth & family and mom and dad for more swimming and italian sandwiches and birthday cake for Patience. Mandy and Elisabeth and I walked the kids down to the baseball field. We tried playing baseball. Patience got to go first because it was her birthday but when it wasn't her turn EVERY time, well, it seems that was a personal insult. Jocelyn was just as happy to prance around the infield not really paying attention, and was surprisingly the only child to hit the ball with the first swing. We switched to pickle and Timothy managed to run into Chase and knock him over, so now Chase was crying and Timothy was pouting because I yelled at him for not realizing that he's 5'5" 130lbs and Chase is not. With 3 of 7 kids in a snit, we decided it was time to pack it in and do some more swimming. That was a much bigger hit!
Mandy and Elisabeth and their respective crews cleared out a bit before dinner and the rest of us grabbed leftover sandwiches and then swam some more before bed.
Monday Mom treated us to lobsters and pizza. Dad and Morgan paced while Mom and Jocelyn and Jesse and I went out to pick it up. Jocelyn ate more than a whole lobster on her own. Jesse tried a bite then said he liked it but would prefer pizza. Timothy also had a lobster. Morgan and Dad stuck with the pizza. Joey was out in Naples on the Songo River Queen Tour.
Tuesday morning Mom and Dad cut out before we were up. The rest of us took a while to get out of bed and lolled around until after a late breakfast. Then Joey and Josh and Morgan headed over to Kettle Cove to rent us a boat for the afternoon. Morgan wouldn't get on the boat so Joey brought him back while Josh drove the boat over. We had more luck getting Morgan into the boat from the cabin, though it was still a bit touch and go. Once in though, he seemed quite content and we all had fun tooling around the lake. Then, suddenly, Morgan was unhappy. I got back next to him and managed to figure out that his shoulders were hot from the sun. I should have put him in a t-shirt! But once I covered his shoulders with a towel he quieted down and we headed back. We rested and swam for a while and then I took all the kids but Timothy inside while Josh and Joey and Timothy went back out on the boat and then returned it.
Wednesday we finally got around to going to the Ice Cream Dugout for ice creams. Jocelyn and Jesse had a competition for who could be messiest. It was a close call, I think they may have each independently set a world record. Morgan likes the ice cream part but not the cone part, but he also won't use a spoon, so we have to get a cone even though he won't eat it. When he gets to the bottom of the cone he scoops the end of the ice cream out with his fingers, putting an end to the myth that ice cream isn't finger food.
Thursday Josh and Joey took the kids on a drive around the lake and then picked us up blizzards from DQ because it was Miracle Treat day where they donated $1 from each blizzard to fight Childhood Cancer. You know, normally I would never advocate 2 ice cream days in a row, but it was a worthy cause, so what could we do??
Friday Uncle Joey headed home and Josh went out and got more groceries to keep us through the weekend as we try not to make a habit of leaving the cabin on the weekend and fighting all the traffic. We spent the weekend swimming and resting and swimming some more. I found spray on sunscreen horribly inefficient and it took a whole can just to coat the 5 of us (everyone but Mr. I-Don't-Burn) where as a regular bottle lasted me the whole two weeks. Sunscreening 4 kids plus myself was the only bummer of the whole trip, so I refused to do it more than once a day. So we swam during sunlight once and then waited until after dinner for the 2nd swim each day. Timothy burning on two swipes of his arms where I thought he did the sunscreen and he thought I did. Otherwise no burns except for Mr. I-Don't-Burn, but that wasn't until later in the week...
Over the weekend we bribed Jocelyn into jumping off the dock (with a life jacket on). It cost us $2 and the promise of another lobster. Money well spent as after only one jump she was addicted and did it about a thousand times over the next week (taking off the life jacket after only a couple jumps).
We had rain all day Monday so we went up to Bridgton to shop at Cool Moose and the party store - our annual outing. Josh and Morgan stayed in the car and watched videos on the computer. The rest of us ventured inside to get t-shirts and one toy each. Then we stopped at the fudge store and got 1 1/2 lbs of assorted fudge - yum!
Tuesday started out rainy as well so I took Timothy and Jesse and Jocelyn and we went to Mexicali Blues for more t-shirts (for Josh and Timothy) and a purse for Jocelyn and a wallet for Jesse. Then we went to the Salvation Army and got Timothy a suit, boots for me, Timothy, and Morgan, sneakers and snowpants for Jesse, and some assorted clothing (including of course, a blue velvet dress for Jocelyn). By the time we got home the rain had cleared and it was time to swim some more!
Wednesday and Thursday were gorgeous and we spent most of our time in the water. Jocelyn started getting the hang of swimming. She could already swim underwater fairly well but put her feet down whenever she came up for air. Then she sort of figured out the doggie-paddle. Then once she figured out how to combine the two she was quite pleased with herself. Jesse stuck to wearing a life jacket, which allowed him to go out deep with Josh and Timothy to play football. Jocelyn was too scared to go over her head until almost the last day when she finally figured out the miracle of a life jacket as well. Once that happened we even managed to coax her up onto the raft and she and I jumped off of it holding hands. After that she jumped all by herself, several times.
Jocelyn and Jesse were cutest when they were playing together nicely, which was surprisingly frequent. They would play on kickboards together in the water and then get wrapped up in towels and sit on the dock together. It was super sweet.
Friday we cleaned and packed and swam and cleaned and packed and swam one last time, getting out as thunder rolled in. We hustled into the car and were on our way home around 6pm. Jocelyn cried for the better part of a half hour, talking about how much she was going to miss vacation. Jesse fell asleep by the time we hit the highway and slept until CT, giving us quite a peaceful trip home! We stopped at a different rest stop than usual and ended up having to use port-a-potties. Jocelyn was NOT impressed with them.
Saturday it was time to get some school supplies so Timothy and I headed to Staples and bought about one of everything they had. Then we headed over to TJMax and Timothy picked out some new clothes while I grabbed an outfit for each of Jocelyn and Jesse (showing up at home with only things for Timothy would not have been a popular move!).
We've gotten the bags out of the car and generally into the right room, but actually unpacking them will wait. A bit more than a week before school starts. We got Jocelyn's PIN for buying school lunch in the mail, and her bus number and tag. The short bus will be picking Morgan up at 7:16am!!
Well that's the story of the last two weeks!
Rhonda
Saturday, July 30, 2011
July 30, 2011
Jocelyn lost her 2nd (bottom) tooth yesterday. By the time I was ready to go to bed, Jocelyn was still not asleep. So I told Jocelyn that Uncle Jeremy (who is visiting - yay) wanted to give her one more hug.
Jocelyn: but what if the tooth fairy comes while I'm downstairs?
me: that can't happen, she only comes when you're asleep.
Jocelyn: she knows when I'm asleep? does she have a scanner?
me: yes
So down she ran to give Jeremy a hug. When she came back up she stopped by my room to say goodnight as I was brushing my teeth. Then she went to bed.
2 seconds later she comes tearing buns into my room screaming "YOU WERE WRONG!"
Apparently the tooth fairy CAN come when you're awake! She left Jocelyn a card with a picture she had drawn and a note about how she loves princesses and drawing and teeth. And she had drawn the picture and written the note all in the time that I had taken to brush my teeth!
"The tooth fairy must have magic!" said Jocelyn.
Jocelyn: but what if the tooth fairy comes while I'm downstairs?
me: that can't happen, she only comes when you're asleep.
Jocelyn: she knows when I'm asleep? does she have a scanner?
me: yes
So down she ran to give Jeremy a hug. When she came back up she stopped by my room to say goodnight as I was brushing my teeth. Then she went to bed.
2 seconds later she comes tearing buns into my room screaming "YOU WERE WRONG!"
Apparently the tooth fairy CAN come when you're awake! She left Jocelyn a card with a picture she had drawn and a note about how she loves princesses and drawing and teeth. And she had drawn the picture and written the note all in the time that I had taken to brush my teeth!
"The tooth fairy must have magic!" said Jocelyn.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
July 21, 2011
Jesse is a rock star.
Jocelyn and Jesse saw the dentist yesterday. Jocelyn was cavity free, but Jesse was not. Very much not. So much not on one side that they had him come back today to get two fillings (and he'll need two more on the other side after we get back from vacation).
My poor baby had to get fillings! Like with a drill! Ack!
I was so sad for him last night, but I didn't want to let on. I explained what was going to happen as far as the shot and the loud noise and that he might feel a little funny but that daddy would be there and that it would be over soon enough and he'd be fine.
I, on the other hand, was not fine. I was so upset I could have puked. My littlest man, still practically a newborn! I wanted to grab him and hug him until the teeth were healed. But I had to pull myself out of la-la land, put on my big girl panties, and deal with it.
So I put on my best fake smile as he and Josh headed to the dentist this morning, and tried to put it out of my head while he was gone. I was generally unsuccessful.
He came home so proud, with a big swollen cheek and numb face and a sticker on his shirt that said "Watch me - my lips & cheek are numb." He rocked the dentist, and he knew it. The dentist was so impressed that she gave him a shark tooth that was from her own stash- not from the toy drawer (from which he also got to pick). Josh said the dentist and hygienist kept whispering to each other, "have you ever seen anything like this??"
He sat in the chair and they asked him if he knew what was going to happen. He explained that he was going to get a shot and that he had to sit still they were going to put stuff in his mouth and that daddy would be there and he would be fine. They told him to raise his hand if something hurt and that they would stop right away. So every now and then he'd wave at Josh with his foot. Just once he raised his hand and they gave him a bit more Novocain.
I don't know how my whiniest child is also my bravest. He is so astoundingly whiney that I think he could qualify for some record. He is so amazingly brave that he could qualify there as well.
He is my rock star, and I'm just so proud.
Jocelyn and Jesse saw the dentist yesterday. Jocelyn was cavity free, but Jesse was not. Very much not. So much not on one side that they had him come back today to get two fillings (and he'll need two more on the other side after we get back from vacation).
My poor baby had to get fillings! Like with a drill! Ack!
I was so sad for him last night, but I didn't want to let on. I explained what was going to happen as far as the shot and the loud noise and that he might feel a little funny but that daddy would be there and that it would be over soon enough and he'd be fine.
I, on the other hand, was not fine. I was so upset I could have puked. My littlest man, still practically a newborn! I wanted to grab him and hug him until the teeth were healed. But I had to pull myself out of la-la land, put on my big girl panties, and deal with it.
So I put on my best fake smile as he and Josh headed to the dentist this morning, and tried to put it out of my head while he was gone. I was generally unsuccessful.
He came home so proud, with a big swollen cheek and numb face and a sticker on his shirt that said "Watch me - my lips & cheek are numb." He rocked the dentist, and he knew it. The dentist was so impressed that she gave him a shark tooth that was from her own stash- not from the toy drawer (from which he also got to pick). Josh said the dentist and hygienist kept whispering to each other, "have you ever seen anything like this??"
He sat in the chair and they asked him if he knew what was going to happen. He explained that he was going to get a shot and that he had to sit still they were going to put stuff in his mouth and that daddy would be there and he would be fine. They told him to raise his hand if something hurt and that they would stop right away. So every now and then he'd wave at Josh with his foot. Just once he raised his hand and they gave him a bit more Novocain.
I don't know how my whiniest child is also my bravest. He is so astoundingly whiney that I think he could qualify for some record. He is so amazingly brave that he could qualify there as well.
He is my rock star, and I'm just so proud.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
July 17, 2011
Jocelyn lost her first tooth this week! The tooth fairy left her $5 and a note saying that she wouldn't get $5 every time. The tooth fairy also talked about how she liked princesses, and how she and Jocelyn have so much in common :). I asked Jocelyn about the note when I got home, and she said she'd read it to me but it banished (vanished). She was excited that she could read the whole thing herself.
Not a lot of other news this week. I really need to start writing these a few glasses of wine earlier in the day.
3 more weeks until vacation!
Not a lot of other news this week. I really need to start writing these a few glasses of wine earlier in the day.
3 more weeks until vacation!
Sunday, July 10, 2011
July 10, 2011
Susan and Jonathan and cousin Chelsea visited this weekend. Chelsea is 19 (Timothy is roughly equidistant between Chelsea and Jocelyn), and Jocelyn and Jesse fell in love with her immediately. Today after they left, Jesse cried hysterically for 15 minutes and then fell asleep. Jocelyn insisted we send her an email before they even made it out of the neighborhood.
Jocelyn was the funniest. She kept asking Chelsea questions (like, "do you like barbies?") and when Chelsea would respond, Jocelyn would shout "we have so much in common!"
They both followed her around all weekend, I'm not really sure she got much more than a random bathroom break for time to herself. Josh suggested Joey take her out for a ride at one point, just to give her a sanity break. I mean really, sweet as my kids are, they can be too much of a good thing!
What is it about getting attention from older cousins/family that is so fulfilling? I still remember a barrette that Diana made me when I was about 6 or 7 that was my most cherished possession for quite some time. I remember when MaryBeth took me out for the day when I was 9 or 10 and gave me a little pinky ring and we went to the shoe store. I remember when Michael would let us hang out in the ell with him and his friends and call us his girlfriends. I remember when Stevie bought me a plum and built a fire at camp, and of course when he sent me an Indiana shirt that I wore from age 5 until it fit when I was 12.
Those little bits of time and attention end up being so special. Chelsea earned such a spot in the history of Jocelyn and Jesse this weekend. She'll be with them always and I'm so thankful for it.
Hope everyone had a great weekend!
Rhonda
Jocelyn was the funniest. She kept asking Chelsea questions (like, "do you like barbies?") and when Chelsea would respond, Jocelyn would shout "we have so much in common!"
They both followed her around all weekend, I'm not really sure she got much more than a random bathroom break for time to herself. Josh suggested Joey take her out for a ride at one point, just to give her a sanity break. I mean really, sweet as my kids are, they can be too much of a good thing!
What is it about getting attention from older cousins/family that is so fulfilling? I still remember a barrette that Diana made me when I was about 6 or 7 that was my most cherished possession for quite some time. I remember when MaryBeth took me out for the day when I was 9 or 10 and gave me a little pinky ring and we went to the shoe store. I remember when Michael would let us hang out in the ell with him and his friends and call us his girlfriends. I remember when Stevie bought me a plum and built a fire at camp, and of course when he sent me an Indiana shirt that I wore from age 5 until it fit when I was 12.
Those little bits of time and attention end up being so special. Chelsea earned such a spot in the history of Jocelyn and Jesse this weekend. She'll be with them always and I'm so thankful for it.
Hope everyone had a great weekend!
Rhonda
Friday, July 1, 2011
July 1, 2011
There are 2 actuarial interns in my department this summer. They are eager and young and just so very refreshing. They haven't been beaten down by years of corporate life. And better yet, they hang on my every word and laugh at all my jokes.
I received an email from one of them on Tuesday afternoon. I later found out that someone had told him that if he emailed me, it should not be more than 3 sentences because I don't like for people to drone on and on. And so I received an email of 3 sentences that essentially said he knew I was very busy but would I be willing to have lunch with him and the other intern some time. I think he used the word busy 7 times in 3 sentences.
I replied "How about breakfast on Thursday" and assured him I was not THAT busy.
So Thursday morning I had breakfast with the 2 interns. Let's call them John and Mary. John wore a tie. We got our breakfast and sat down and I said, "So, what do we want to talk about?" Mary froze and kicked John under the table. John cleared his throat. "Well, I want to be a senior executive in a large insurance company like Aetna. So my question is, how do I do that?"
This is the first time I've gotten this question. I've had many meals with many interns and new students over time. I usually get the "what's the difference between consulting and insurance" question, since not too many people have done both. Or in a group of all females I'll almost surely get the various work-life balance questions. But this was a great and fun question!
I won't bore you with my answer. Between that and the follow-ups, we were quite chatty for the next hour. Mary warmed up pretty quickly and eventually ended up giving me a really big compliment while sounding completely sincere. She said, "Whenever you talk, I understand everything you say." Ok, that doesn't sound like much, but when you're an actuary, let's just say that makes you pretty special.
So two scared interns made it through breakfast with the big bad boss and seemingly enjoyed themselves.
In other Rhonda-is-scary news, apparently I'm scary. I was not happy about something today and trying to decide whom to tell of my discontent - level A or level A's bosses. I IM'd a coworker from another department to see what she thought. "Just level A is fine, they work really hard to stay off your radar, so if you tell them, they'll take care of it." I should note none of these people report to me, nor do I have authority over them in any way. They are all older with more experience than me, and odds are they make more money. I guess they scare kinda easy.
Actually that's a pattern with who is afraid of me - they are never the people who work FOR me. In fact, new people to the department always say the same thing. About a month in when we meet at the water cooler and I ask how it's going, they say, "I'd heard so much about you, I thought you'd be scarier. But you're really nice!" Thanks?
It's not news. I've been terrifying since I was a teenager and I've never known why, but that surely doesn't stop me from using it to my advantage. After all, the best leaders lead by example. But when that's not an option, brute intimidation works pretty well too.*
Hope everyone has a great long weekend!
Rhonda
*despair.com - arrogance
I received an email from one of them on Tuesday afternoon. I later found out that someone had told him that if he emailed me, it should not be more than 3 sentences because I don't like for people to drone on and on. And so I received an email of 3 sentences that essentially said he knew I was very busy but would I be willing to have lunch with him and the other intern some time. I think he used the word busy 7 times in 3 sentences.
I replied "How about breakfast on Thursday" and assured him I was not THAT busy.
So Thursday morning I had breakfast with the 2 interns. Let's call them John and Mary. John wore a tie. We got our breakfast and sat down and I said, "So, what do we want to talk about?" Mary froze and kicked John under the table. John cleared his throat. "Well, I want to be a senior executive in a large insurance company like Aetna. So my question is, how do I do that?"
This is the first time I've gotten this question. I've had many meals with many interns and new students over time. I usually get the "what's the difference between consulting and insurance" question, since not too many people have done both. Or in a group of all females I'll almost surely get the various work-life balance questions. But this was a great and fun question!
I won't bore you with my answer. Between that and the follow-ups, we were quite chatty for the next hour. Mary warmed up pretty quickly and eventually ended up giving me a really big compliment while sounding completely sincere. She said, "Whenever you talk, I understand everything you say." Ok, that doesn't sound like much, but when you're an actuary, let's just say that makes you pretty special.
So two scared interns made it through breakfast with the big bad boss and seemingly enjoyed themselves.
In other Rhonda-is-scary news, apparently I'm scary. I was not happy about something today and trying to decide whom to tell of my discontent - level A or level A's bosses. I IM'd a coworker from another department to see what she thought. "Just level A is fine, they work really hard to stay off your radar, so if you tell them, they'll take care of it." I should note none of these people report to me, nor do I have authority over them in any way. They are all older with more experience than me, and odds are they make more money. I guess they scare kinda easy.
Actually that's a pattern with who is afraid of me - they are never the people who work FOR me. In fact, new people to the department always say the same thing. About a month in when we meet at the water cooler and I ask how it's going, they say, "I'd heard so much about you, I thought you'd be scarier.
It's not news. I've been terrifying since I was a teenager and I've never known why, but that surely doesn't stop me from using it to my advantage. After all, the best leaders lead by example. But when that's not an option, brute intimidation works pretty well too.*
Hope everyone has a great long weekend!
Rhonda
*despair.com - arrogance
Monday, June 27, 2011
June 26, 2011
I learned an important lesson this morning - that I am either too old or too out of shape (or, most likely, both) to be jumping like a kid at BounceTown. Man, I used some sort of muscles in my arms that clearly had not been used in some time (the out of shape portion of the equation), and my knees and neck ache (the too old portion of the equation). But I'll recover, and we had so much fun! All the cousins plus 2 friends and a sibling from Morgan's class joined us for an early birthday bounce party at BounceTown yesterday. An hour of bouncing (and a bounce obstacle course, which I have to believe is where the arm muscle using got me) followed by pizza and hostess cupcakes. It was even more fun than it sounds!
Then today was Jesse-Mommy day, which involves (like it did for Jocelyn back in February) a trip to the movies and a shopping spree at Target. We went to the 9:30am showing of Cars 2, which may or may not have been a good movie. I really couldn't say because we made it through all the previews but then proceeded to take 3 trips to the bathroom and miss some apparently critical points in the plot. At the 4th bathroom request I offered that we could just leave and Jesse jumped at the chance. I guess he just wasn't ready for a full feature, though he's also not used to having to watch TWENTY MINUTES of previews - geez!
So we headed to Target. Shopping list: socks for Josh, underwear for Timothy, and a toy and bike helmet for Jesse (his skateboard arrived this week!). We managed to add a few more impulse buys of course, including tech-decks and holders for each of Jocelyn, Timothy, and Jesse. Jesse had picked blue for himself, orange for Jocelyn, and green for Timothy. When we got home Jocelyn wanted blue and Timothy wanted green. So Jesse happily obliged and kept orange for himself. My sweetie pie!
He and Jocelyn took turns with the skateboard and bike for a while (don't worry, we got Jocelyn a helmet too), and then they played tech-decks with Timothy for a bit. Now Jesse just came to have his helmet buckled and he's off to play skateboard again. I think we have scored a successful Jesse-Mommy day :)
Then today was Jesse-Mommy day, which involves (like it did for Jocelyn back in February) a trip to the movies and a shopping spree at Target. We went to the 9:30am showing of Cars 2, which may or may not have been a good movie. I really couldn't say because we made it through all the previews but then proceeded to take 3 trips to the bathroom and miss some apparently critical points in the plot. At the 4th bathroom request I offered that we could just leave and Jesse jumped at the chance. I guess he just wasn't ready for a full feature, though he's also not used to having to watch TWENTY MINUTES of previews - geez!
So we headed to Target. Shopping list: socks for Josh, underwear for Timothy, and a toy and bike helmet for Jesse (his skateboard arrived this week!). We managed to add a few more impulse buys of course, including tech-decks and holders for each of Jocelyn, Timothy, and Jesse. Jesse had picked blue for himself, orange for Jocelyn, and green for Timothy. When we got home Jocelyn wanted blue and Timothy wanted green. So Jesse happily obliged and kept orange for himself. My sweetie pie!
He and Jocelyn took turns with the skateboard and bike for a while (don't worry, we got Jocelyn a helmet too), and then they played tech-decks with Timothy for a bit. Now Jesse just came to have his helmet buckled and he's off to play skateboard again. I think we have scored a successful Jesse-Mommy day :)
Sunday, June 19, 2011
June 18, 2011
Thought I'd recruit some help from Jocelyn and Jesse for today's email. A little interview...
What is a fun memory you have of Daddy?
Jesse: When I went shopping with dad I helped him.
Jocelyn: We went shopping and he let me have the king sized M&Ms but they weren't actually M&Ms because they were all chocolate. And another fun time was when we played outside and sometimes when we play outside I hug daddy too much even when I hold his hand sometimes, I think all the time. That's a big answer mom.
Jesse: When I was outside with daddy, and when I played with him a lot. We played bingo. Then we were playing catch together. And then when me and dad were going to get the mail and then we were going back to play ball. And then I did something called baseball. Then we played baseball with me and dad and Timothy and then daddy kicked the ball I even caught it and then he kicked it so high it went in the street so he went to get it. Said Jesse. Did you spell said Jesse? That's all.
Jocelyn: I think when I was 2 dad made me a little hair style that was like a baby hair style like a little kid pony tail with my hair a little up. I have a picture of that. And another fun time when Grandpa was here he had to go to subway. Before that we were playing basketball and I had a fun time.
What are some things Daddy says a lot?
Jocelyn: Clean up your room.
Jesse: You can have a break from cleaning.
Jocelyn: Clean up the toy room.
Jocelyn: I love you too Jocelyn.
Jesse: Can you go get my chh chh (inhaler)?
Jocelyn: Get out of my way please.
Jesse: Today on Father's Day he told me you look funny sweeping the game room. And that's all. Said Jesse.
What does Daddy like to eat a lot? (Jocelyn is now doing the questions)
Jocelyn: Some things jewish and his favorite cookies.
Jesse: Ribs.
What does Daddy like to watch a lot that's kids?
Jocelyn: Tough Puppy
Jesse: He likes to watch football, which I like to watch a lot. Said Jesse. Me and dad like to watch Dare Devil. Did you spell said Jesse? Are you spelling said Jesse?
What day does Daddy like to celebrate?
Jocelyn: I know that he likes Father's Day. That's today. 2011. Even one holiday he likes to go to celebrate on is Christmas and even Hanukkah.
What does Daddy read a lot?
Jocelyn:
What does Daddy like to watch that is super awesome?
Jocelyn: Hockey. AND Tough Puppy. AND don't forget Dare Devil.
Jocelyn: now it's Jesse's turn to do it.
What does Daddy like to play with?
Jesse: Daddy likes to play games like bingo.
Jocelyn: and Daddy likes to play with Jocelyn and Jesse and play video games with them
Jesse: that's what I was just gonna say
Jocelyn: awesome
What does Daddy like to do?
Jocelyn: Dad likes to watch TV shows even hockey even he likes to read books. Now Jesse's turn.
Jesse: Daddy likes to play video games like Mario Bros but he played the whole family one day but we have to get new controllers then we can play 4 people. Can I go play video games now?
What does Daddy know that the kids do?
Jocelyn: sometimes they play with each other nicely and he likes to see them playing nicely. You like that too, right Mom? Even he likes to go shopping with Jocelyn because she's nice and quiet. I really am. AND he knows what the kids do all the time because sometimes he hears or see or... yeah. And every time he knows what kids do, he kinda does his own thing sometimes. The End.
**************
Josh was kind enough to buy himself his own Father's Day gift (Dare Devil #1), so the only thing I could add to that was to do a little cleaning before he got up. Timothy and Jesse did the toy room while I learned how to use the dishwasher, and then Jesse did the game room all by himself and got all the trash and dishes out of the living room. I mention this because I decided to reward him with $3, which just happened to be the exact amount he needed to have enough (thanks to a recent cash infusion from Uncle Aaron and Aunt Abbe) to buy the skateboard he's been talking about for a month or so! He was SUPER excited and handed over his money to me so I could order it off the computer. Josh will go out this week and get him a helmet (since I have a feeling he'll need it!), and then he already has all the knee and elbow pads and such that he got for Hanukkah with his roller skates. I'll be sure to take a picture when he rides for the first time!
That's the news from here - happy father's day to all the dads!
Rhonda
What is a fun memory you have of Daddy?
Jesse: When I went shopping with dad I helped him.
Jocelyn: We went shopping and he let me have the king sized M&Ms but they weren't actually M&Ms because they were all chocolate. And another fun time was when we played outside and sometimes when we play outside I hug daddy too much even when I hold his hand sometimes, I think all the time. That's a big answer mom.
Jesse: When I was outside with daddy, and when I played with him a lot. We played bingo. Then we were playing catch together. And then when me and dad were going to get the mail and then we were going back to play ball. And then I did something called baseball. Then we played baseball with me and dad and Timothy and then daddy kicked the ball I even caught it and then he kicked it so high it went in the street so he went to get it. Said Jesse. Did you spell said Jesse? That's all.
Jocelyn: I think when I was 2 dad made me a little hair style that was like a baby hair style like a little kid pony tail with my hair a little up. I have a picture of that. And another fun time when Grandpa was here he had to go to subway. Before that we were playing basketball and I had a fun time.
What are some things Daddy says a lot?
Jocelyn: Clean up your room.
Jesse: You can have a break from cleaning.
Jocelyn: Clean up the toy room.
Jocelyn: I love you too Jocelyn.
Jesse: Can you go get my chh chh (inhaler)?
Jocelyn: Get out of my way please.
Jesse: Today on Father's Day he told me you look funny sweeping the game room. And that's all. Said Jesse.
What does Daddy like to eat a lot? (Jocelyn is now doing the questions)
Jocelyn: Some things jewish and his favorite cookies.
Jesse: Ribs.
What does Daddy like to watch a lot that's kids?
Jocelyn: Tough Puppy
Jesse: He likes to watch football, which I like to watch a lot. Said Jesse. Me and dad like to watch Dare Devil. Did you spell said Jesse? Are you spelling said Jesse?
What day does Daddy like to celebrate?
Jocelyn: I know that he likes Father's Day. That's today. 2011.
What does Daddy read a lot?
Jocelyn:
What does Daddy like to watch that is super awesome?
Jocelyn: Hockey. AND Tough Puppy. AND don't forget Dare Devil.
Jocelyn: now it's Jesse's turn to do it.
What does Daddy like to play with?
Jesse: Daddy likes to play games like bingo.
Jocelyn: and Daddy likes to play with Jocelyn and Jesse and play video games with them
Jesse: that's what I was just gonna say
Jocelyn: awesome
What does Daddy like to do?
Jocelyn: Dad likes to watch TV shows even hockey even he likes to read books. Now Jesse's turn.
Jesse: Daddy likes to play video games like Mario Bros but he played the whole family one day but we have to get new controllers then we can play 4 people. Can I go play video games now?
What does Daddy know that the kids do?
Jocelyn: sometimes they play with each other nicely and he likes to see them playing nicely. You like that too, right Mom? Even he likes to go shopping with Jocelyn because she's nice and quiet. I really am. AND he knows what the kids do all the time because sometimes he hears or see or... yeah. And every time he knows what kids do, he kinda does his own thing sometimes. The End.
**************
Josh was kind enough to buy himself his own Father's Day gift (Dare Devil #1), so the only thing I could add to that was to do a little cleaning before he got up. Timothy and Jesse did the toy room while I learned how to use the dishwasher, and then Jesse did the game room all by himself and got all the trash and dishes out of the living room. I mention this because I decided to reward him with $3, which just happened to be the exact amount he needed to have enough (thanks to a recent cash infusion from Uncle Aaron and Aunt Abbe) to buy the skateboard he's been talking about for a month or so! He was SUPER excited and handed over his money to me so I could order it off the computer. Josh will go out this week and get him a helmet (since I have a feeling he'll need it!), and then he already has all the knee and elbow pads and such that he got for Hanukkah with his roller skates. I'll be sure to take a picture when he rides for the first time!
That's the news from here - happy father's day to all the dads!
Rhonda
Friday, June 17, 2011
June 17, 2011
Seems fitting that with Father's Day this weekend, I share some various pieces of advice/sayings/theories from my own father.
1) "If it were up your nose you'd know it."
This was the typical response to "I can't find my." I think it was my dad's version of "not my problem" or "figure it out". I actually struggle with this with my own kids. They come whining to me about something and really I just want the whining to stop so I try to help them, but then the next time, cue the whining. I really need to just start using this phrase more.
2) "Never lie. Unless it's really important."
I remember this advice very specifically. I was 7 years old and it was a weekend in early summer and I was sitting on the porch with my dad, just the two of us. It was a breezy day and my hair was in 2 ponytails. My father was in the phase where he was wearing running shorts OVER sweatpants, which he had decided was both stylish and functional since the shorts held up the sweatpants. For all the detail I remember, I don't recall how we got onto the subject of lying. But I remember the conversation that started with these words.
Dad: Never lie. Unless it's really important.
Me: I don't lie.
Dad: Good. Because some day you are going to need to lie, and when you do, you'll need people to believe you. If you have never lied before, they will.
Me: Are you going to lie to me?
Dad: I will if it's really important.
Me: ok
3) Number 1 rule of driving - stay out of the way of trucks
The lesson here was two-fold. First, on the highway, big trucks are large and less nimble than cars. The lesson was to be polite and not make them move around unnecessarily. Second, on the back roads, look out for pick-up trucks and don't irritate them. I think this was more of a "the truck is bigger than you and you will lose" type of lesson, but I didn't really question it.
4) "The winner wants the ball."
We were watching the movie Hoosiers (SUCH a great movie!). I must have been 12 or 13. I made some comment near the end of the movie, during the big game, that if I was on the team, I would so not want them passing the ball to me and I felt bad for the player who ended up with it. Dad just turned his head to me and said firmly "The winner wants the ball." Then he turned back to the movie. Conversation over. Interestingly enough, I think years later this was an actual line in a football movie - perhaps The Replacements?
5) "What about it?"
This one was a staple in the dad go-to responses. Here would be just one example of how it would work:
Dad: Go outside and play.
Me: But what about dessert?
Dad: What about it?
Me: Can I have dessert before I go outside and play?
Dad: It's "May I" and why didn't you just say that first. Don't make me think of your arguments for you.
6) "Consensus breeds mediocrity."
So here's the theory - the more people you have making a decision, the less likely you are to truly mess anything up. The side effect is that you are also materially less likely to produce anything really spectacular. I actually hesitated as to including it in today's list because I'm not totally sure I agree with it. I would say the majority of the time, it's right-on. But when you have a high-performance team (like ours!) and have open-minded players (like us!), I think it is possible to create a sum greater than the parts.
Related frequently used variations:
Never up, never in. (Apparently this is some sort of golf reference? Something about putting and not leaving it short?).
No risk, no reward.
Always bet on yourself.
If your friends jumped off a bridge…
Who cares what I think, what do YOU think?
Why are you asking me - it's not my life.
7) "You just worry about you."
General response to tattling or to asking my mother why she got to eat in the living room was dad breaking in with this gem.
8) Play until someone cries.
This wasn't a quote, it was just a rule. I have two sisters; they are 2 and 4 years younger than I am. My dad would always be happy to play with us, until someone cried. I think our record was 2 whole minutes. When the crying began, he would stand up, put his glasses back on, and leave the room.
9) "Yeah well, life isn't fair."
Another staple. I would guess that about 90% of complaints were met with this one. I should really use this one more too.
10) "Don't ever play poker for money."
This was not generic advice, this was very specific advice meant for me personally. My dad had knee surgery when I was 16 and spent a week or so on the couch. I played chess with him and beat him for the first time ever, which was the last time I ever played chess. I played poker with him and lost terribly. When it was over he said, "I thought I was the worst poker player I knew, but you're worse. Don't ever play poker for money."
So there's a little insight into my upbringing for you on this Friday afternoon. Perhaps it explains a little bit about me. Or perhaps you are just thinking I should have put the word "random" in all caps today. In either case, happy Friday and have a great weekend!
1) "If it were up your nose you'd know it."
This was the typical response to "I can't find my
2) "Never lie. Unless it's really important."
I remember this advice very specifically. I was 7 years old and it was a weekend in early summer and I was sitting on the porch with my dad, just the two of us. It was a breezy day and my hair was in 2 ponytails. My father was in the phase where he was wearing running shorts OVER sweatpants, which he had decided was both stylish and functional since the shorts held up the sweatpants. For all the detail I remember, I don't recall how we got onto the subject of lying. But I remember the conversation that started with these words.
Dad: Never lie. Unless it's really important.
Me: I don't lie.
Dad: Good. Because some day you are going to need to lie, and when you do, you'll need people to believe you. If you have never lied before, they will.
Me: Are you going to lie to me?
Dad: I will if it's really important.
Me: ok
3) Number 1 rule of driving - stay out of the way of trucks
The lesson here was two-fold. First, on the highway, big trucks are large and less nimble than cars. The lesson was to be polite and not make them move around unnecessarily. Second, on the back roads, look out for pick-up trucks and don't irritate them. I think this was more of a "the truck is bigger than you and you will lose" type of lesson, but I didn't really question it.
4) "The winner wants the ball."
We were watching the movie Hoosiers (SUCH a great movie!). I must have been 12 or 13. I made some comment near the end of the movie, during the big game, that if I was on the team, I would so not want them passing the ball to me and I felt bad for the player who ended up with it. Dad just turned his head to me and said firmly "The winner wants the ball." Then he turned back to the movie. Conversation over. Interestingly enough, I think years later this was an actual line in a football movie - perhaps The Replacements?
5) "What about it?"
This one was a staple in the dad go-to responses. Here would be just one example of how it would work:
Dad: Go outside and play.
Me: But what about dessert?
Dad: What about it?
Me: Can I have dessert before I go outside and play?
Dad: It's "May I" and why didn't you just say that first. Don't make me think of your arguments for you.
6) "Consensus breeds mediocrity."
So here's the theory - the more people you have making a decision, the less likely you are to truly mess anything up. The side effect is that you are also materially less likely to produce anything really spectacular. I actually hesitated as to including it in today's list because I'm not totally sure I agree with it. I would say the majority of the time, it's right-on. But when you have a high-performance team (like ours!) and have open-minded players (like us!), I think it is possible to create a sum greater than the parts.
Related frequently used variations:
Never up, never in. (Apparently this is some sort of golf reference? Something about putting and not leaving it short?).
No risk, no reward.
Always bet on yourself.
If your friends jumped off a bridge…
Who cares what I think, what do YOU think?
Why are you asking me - it's not my life.
7) "You just worry about you."
General response to tattling or to asking my mother why she got to eat in the living room was dad breaking in with this gem.
8) Play until someone cries.
This wasn't a quote, it was just a rule. I have two sisters; they are 2 and 4 years younger than I am. My dad would always be happy to play with us, until someone cried. I think our record was 2 whole minutes. When the crying began, he would stand up, put his glasses back on, and leave the room.
9) "Yeah well, life isn't fair."
Another staple. I would guess that about 90% of complaints were met with this one. I should really use this one more too.
10) "Don't ever play poker for money."
This was not generic advice, this was very specific advice meant for me personally. My dad had knee surgery when I was 16 and spent a week or so on the couch. I played chess with him and beat him for the first time ever, which was the last time I ever played chess. I played poker with him and lost terribly. When it was over he said, "I thought I was the worst poker player I knew, but you're worse. Don't ever play poker for money."
So there's a little insight into my upbringing for you on this Friday afternoon. Perhaps it explains a little bit about me. Or perhaps you are just thinking I should have put the word "random" in all caps today. In either case, happy Friday and have a great weekend!
Sunday, June 12, 2011
June 11, 2011
Last night when Jocelyn and I were leaving the recital rehearsal, we were a few steps behind her teacher (Miss Amy). Jocelyn was practically exploding telling me how much she loved ballet.
Jocelyn: I love ballet SO MUCH!
Miss Amy (turning her head around): I'm so glad
Jocelyn: I love it so so so SO much!
Miss Amy (smiling and choking back a giggle): yes, you mentioned that
Jocelyn: I want to do it forever!
Miss Amy: that will be great!
Me (loud whisper to Miss Amy): she loves EVERYTHING
She really does. She loves EVERYTHING. Mom and Elisabeth and Reese and I dropped her off at ballet today at 11:45 and went to kill about an hour before the show started. We went over to Burlington Coat Factory so I could get Jocelyn some new dresses. "Is there a certain kind she likes?" my mom asked. "Nope, she likes everything," I replied. So I grabbed 6 dresses, knowing she'd find a favorite but they'd all get worn.
She looked very happy on stage and did a great job. Then she was back stage until the end of the show and turns out she loved that too (some of the older girls played simon says with them, and they colored and got stickers). Then we picked her up and Grandma gave her flowers, which she loved. When we got home she got more flowers and to show everyone her costume and to give us a fashion show with her new dresses and see baby Reese - love, love, love, love.
For how much I spoil these kids, they still seem so happy about everything. I love it :)
Jocelyn: I love ballet SO MUCH!
Miss Amy (turning her head around): I'm so glad
Jocelyn: I love it so so so SO much!
Miss Amy (smiling and choking back a giggle): yes, you mentioned that
Jocelyn: I want to do it forever!
Miss Amy: that will be great!
Me (loud whisper to Miss Amy): she loves EVERYTHING
She really does. She loves EVERYTHING. Mom and Elisabeth and Reese and I dropped her off at ballet today at 11:45 and went to kill about an hour before the show started. We went over to Burlington Coat Factory so I could get Jocelyn some new dresses. "Is there a certain kind she likes?" my mom asked. "Nope, she likes everything," I replied. So I grabbed 6 dresses, knowing she'd find a favorite but they'd all get worn.
She looked very happy on stage and did a great job. Then she was back stage until the end of the show and turns out she loved that too (some of the older girls played simon says with them, and they colored and got stickers). Then we picked her up and Grandma gave her flowers, which she loved. When we got home she got more flowers and to show everyone her costume and to give us a fashion show with her new dresses and see baby Reese - love, love, love, love.
For how much I spoil these kids, they still seem so happy about everything. I love it :)
Sunday, June 5, 2011
June 5, 2011
me: wow, even your eyebrows are going gray
Josh: yeah all of me is going gray
me: funny, my dad didn't go gray until he was in his 50s
Josh: he didn't stay home with 4 kids
Josh: yeah all of me is going gray
me: funny, my dad didn't go gray until he was in his 50s
Josh: he didn't stay home with 4 kids
Saturday, June 4, 2011
June 4, 2011
We watched home movies from 2001 this morning. We knew what we were looking for - Timothy's third birthday. On the way to it we saw him taking our Burger King order and doing karate in his underwear in front of the over (using it as a mirror). But we were really looking for his birthday. The one where he sang Happy Birthday Butt and ate his soda with a spoon (blowing on it first of course) and spit on the cake because he was blowing so hard. It was also the one where I asked him if he'd still love me when he was 13, and still let me tuck him in, and he promised he would. And then he gave me kisses and hugs. I was holding him at the time.
Fast forward 10 years. I can't pick him up any more, and looking at the picture of the two of us together today, I think he's finally taller than I am. He wears deodorant and men's clothing and his feet are bigger than mine. But if I squint real hard, not that much has changed. He still gets pretty excited about cake and presents, he's still a good kid,he still thinks the word "butt" is funny, and he still says he loves me and gives me hugs.
I cried when I watched the videos, emotional over the little man that's all grown up. But I'm proud of what he is now and I look forward to what he'll become.
Fast forward 10 years. I can't pick him up any more, and looking at the picture of the two of us together today, I think he's finally taller than I am. He wears deodorant and men's clothing and his feet are bigger than mine. But if I squint real hard, not that much has changed. He still gets pretty excited about cake and presents, he's still a good kid,he still thinks the word "butt" is funny, and he still says he loves me and gives me hugs.
I cried when I watched the videos, emotional over the little man that's all grown up. But I'm proud of what he is now and I look forward to what he'll become.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
May 29, 2011
I wore a gawd-awful dress with huge puffy sleeves and a long train with lace and beading. I got it off the clearance rack for $200. My hair was badly perm'd and my eye brows touched each other in the middle and my cheek bones on each side.
Josh had a clean shaven face and his shoulder length hair pulled back into a gel-slicked pony tail.
Katie had to shoo the cat off the tables because he was hopping from table to table eating (or at least licking?) the cheese platters.
Everyone looks so young in the pictures, especially me and Josh. I was 9 years older than Timothy is now. Elisabeth was barely 18.
I think of that day often, and the night before playing 3-man in the Boxborough Host Hotel when the police had to come because a neighbor complained that we were rolling the dice too loud. Groomsman Tim answered the door because, well, I was in no condition.
Not-yet-Uncle Jeff, in his dress clothes, shoveled ice from the hotel container into a kiddie pool in the back of my mom's truck and drove it back to Cobleigh Rd, forever sealing his place in my heart. Upon arriving home he placed the pool next to my sister's awesome sign: "The Brew Lagoon" and started unpacking the beer.
My mom made the cake ahead and time and Aunt Mary Beth arrived a day early to decorate it. Then they decorated the arch with lilacs donated from 2 states worth of friends and family.
I sat with my sisters and my friend Kerrie on the front steps and made bouquets from loose flowers purchased at Idylwilde. We purchased boutonnieres but I forgot about them and found them in the fridge the next day.
My grandmother loaned me her pearl necklace and earrings for my "something borrowed." Last April, before she died, they became no longer borrowed.
My grandfather had died 4 years earlier. I tied his military tag to my blue garter, which later became the something borrowed/blue for my sisters.
The JP was very old and we weren't sure he'd make it through the ceremony.
Mandy sang an original song during the ceremony that I still hum to myself when I think of the day.
After we said "I do", the guests on the end seats released helium balloons with our wedding announcements tied to them. The balloons promptly flew into the trees and got stuck for several years.
My mom got a dance floor on loan from the hotel and we ruined the grass in front of the porch, where the tape player and speakers were turned out to face it. I had invited my friend Sam only the day before and he happened to bring some mix tapes.
The kid down the street video taped the day and then edited it after school in the AV room at the high school.
The day was perfect.
We didn't know what we were in for then. We didn't know we'd become experts at cleaning puke off any given surface at 2am. We didn't know we'd have screaming matches and throw things at each other across the house. We didn't know we'd agree that 7:30pm is the perfect bedtime until age 12, that our kids really don't contribute enough to get an allowance, or that maintaining a clean car is simply not worth it.
We didn't know we'd raise a child with autism, and that merely saying the phrase "Morgan has autism" would take years of practice before we could even do it out loud. We didn't know that after 2 kids and in the middle of trying for a 3rd, I'd lose my job just as a daytime gambling habit had max'd out our many credit cards. We didn't know we'd both gain and lose so much weight over and over.
We didn't know that we would sit on the couch together and watch a baby fall asleep nursing. We didn't know that we would cry at preschool graduations and school concerts. We didn't know that we'd learn to cherish sleeping in until 8am, uninterrupted by little fingers poking us in the eyes, because we didn't know those days would be so rare.
We thought we knew we'd love each other forever, but we didn't really. I think it was enough that we knew we wanted to.
We didn't know any of those things. We were young and stupid and happy, and now we're old and stupid and happy.
And still now, we don't know much more. We know the past, but we have no idea what will happen next or how we will deal with it.
Today we know the one exact thing that we knew 15 years ago - that whatever to come, whatever to happen, whatever life brings - we face it together.
And that we love each other today.
And that that's enough.
Monday, May 23, 2011
May 23, 2011
We got the Fisher Price catalog this weekend, which means Jesse spent most of yesterday go through it with a pen and circling pretty much every toy in it, including a basketball hoop that is clearly superior to ours because he'd be able to dunk on it (like the kid in the picture). When I informed him that I would not be purchasing every toy in the catalog, he was not simply disappointed, but more completely incredulous that I would deprive him like this. There were tears involved. I told him it was a lot of money to buy all those toys. He informed me that daddy has a credit card.
So I told him that he would have to spend his own money to get what he's decided is the one toy he simply cannot live without, a skateboard with a scooter conversion thingy. He has $10 and the skateboard is $40. He asked how on earth he was supposed to get so much money (more tears). I said he had to ask Daddy for some jobs to do, and then he had to do them, and if he was very good Daddy would give him $1 at the end of the day. Yeah, I know this goes against my new management training of not using carrots as a reward system. I hope it doesn't scar him too badly.
So today when I got home, Josh said that Jesse had hustled so much today that he had earned $2! I was so proud of him that I said I'd pay for half the skateboard and he just has to save up $20. I was further explaining that this is what I do, I go to work each day so I can get money to buy food and clothes and pay for hot water.
"Really?" he said, "do you get a lot of money? Like 30?"
So we'll see how he does over the next couple weeks. Jocelyn wants the same skateboard (only in pink) and Josh made her the same offer, but she wasn't so much into working. When she was informed that she would not be paid for the day, she had quite a list of people at fault for her poor showing, none of which included her. Oh dear dear dear.
So I told him that he would have to spend his own money to get what he's decided is the one toy he simply cannot live without, a skateboard with a scooter conversion thingy. He has $10 and the skateboard is $40. He asked how on earth he was supposed to get so much money (more tears). I said he had to ask Daddy for some jobs to do, and then he had to do them, and if he was very good Daddy would give him $1 at the end of the day. Yeah, I know this goes against my new management training of not using carrots as a reward system. I hope it doesn't scar him too badly.
So today when I got home, Josh said that Jesse had hustled so much today that he had earned $2! I was so proud of him that I said I'd pay for half the skateboard and he just has to save up $20. I was further explaining that this is what I do, I go to work each day so I can get money to buy food and clothes and pay for hot water.
"Really?" he said, "do you get a lot of money? Like 30?"
So we'll see how he does over the next couple weeks. Jocelyn wants the same skateboard (only in pink) and Josh made her the same offer, but she wasn't so much into working. When she was informed that she would not be paid for the day, she had quite a list of people at fault for her poor showing, none of which included her. Oh dear dear dear.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
May 8, 2011
I think I wil skip the sentimental tear jerker today since I'm more than halfway through Bossypants and want to finish it. Instead, I forward for your pleasure a story by Jocelyn:
Ons a pana tam thar was a mrma. She loved hrsalf so mach. I love he siad hr frand Mand. She sand a sang. Mand lovedid hr sag so the mrmad loved hr sang. The And.
Now, for those of you that don't read kindergartener, here's the translation:
Once upon a time there was a mermaid. She loved herself so much. "I love her," said her friend Mandy. She sang a song. Mandy loved her song so the mermaid loved her song. The End.
The story is in the pad of paper she got at Passover with the blank space at the top for drawing and lines on the bottom and it's full of stories of princess-types that love themselves and everything around them.
Happy Mother's Day,
Rhonda
Ons a pana tam thar was a mrma. She loved hrsalf so mach. I love he siad hr frand Mand. She sand a sang. Mand lovedid hr sag so the mrmad loved hr sang. The And.
Now, for those of you that don't read kindergartener, here's the translation:
Once upon a time there was a mermaid. She loved herself so much. "I love her," said her friend Mandy. She sang a song. Mandy loved her song so the mermaid loved her song. The End.
The story is in the pad of paper she got at Passover with the blank space at the top for drawing and lines on the bottom and it's full of stories of princess-types that love themselves and everything around them.
Happy Mother's Day,
Rhonda
Sunday, May 1, 2011
May 1, 2011
Things I forgot yesterday:
Jocelyn says Nicholas is her BFFN - boyfriend for now.
The majority of the fights between Jocelyn and Jesse are about who is yelling at whom.
Morgan said to me this morning: "Hi Elmo - great to see you!"
I leave the house so infrequently that I just ordered nail files off cvs.com.
This morning Timothy told me there was something wrong with his eye, so I said "maybe you have pink eye", and he stomped out of the room.
Jocelyn could have easily had her picture taken all day today. Every time she hears the camera click she then switches to a different pose.
Jocelyn says Nicholas is her BFFN - boyfriend for now.
The majority of the fights between Jocelyn and Jesse are about who is yelling at whom.
Morgan said to me this morning: "Hi Elmo - great to see you!"
I leave the house so infrequently that I just ordered nail files off cvs.com.
This morning Timothy told me there was something wrong with his eye, so I said "maybe you have pink eye", and he stomped out of the room.
Jocelyn could have easily had her picture taken all day today. Every time she hears the camera click she then switches to a different pose.
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