1) "If it were up your nose you'd know it."
This was the typical response to "I can't find my
2) "Never lie. Unless it's really important."
I remember this advice very specifically. I was 7 years old and it was a weekend in early summer and I was sitting on the porch with my dad, just the two of us. It was a breezy day and my hair was in 2 ponytails. My father was in the phase where he was wearing running shorts OVER sweatpants, which he had decided was both stylish and functional since the shorts held up the sweatpants. For all the detail I remember, I don't recall how we got onto the subject of lying. But I remember the conversation that started with these words.
Dad: Never lie. Unless it's really important.
Me: I don't lie.
Dad: Good. Because some day you are going to need to lie, and when you do, you'll need people to believe you. If you have never lied before, they will.
Me: Are you going to lie to me?
Dad: I will if it's really important.
Me: ok
3) Number 1 rule of driving - stay out of the way of trucks
The lesson here was two-fold. First, on the highway, big trucks are large and less nimble than cars. The lesson was to be polite and not make them move around unnecessarily. Second, on the back roads, look out for pick-up trucks and don't irritate them. I think this was more of a "the truck is bigger than you and you will lose" type of lesson, but I didn't really question it.
4) "The winner wants the ball."
We were watching the movie Hoosiers (SUCH a great movie!). I must have been 12 or 13. I made some comment near the end of the movie, during the big game, that if I was on the team, I would so not want them passing the ball to me and I felt bad for the player who ended up with it. Dad just turned his head to me and said firmly "The winner wants the ball." Then he turned back to the movie. Conversation over. Interestingly enough, I think years later this was an actual line in a football movie - perhaps The Replacements?
5) "What about it?"
This one was a staple in the dad go-to responses. Here would be just one example of how it would work:
Dad: Go outside and play.
Me: But what about dessert?
Dad: What about it?
Me: Can I have dessert before I go outside and play?
Dad: It's "May I" and why didn't you just say that first. Don't make me think of your arguments for you.
6) "Consensus breeds mediocrity."
So here's the theory - the more people you have making a decision, the less likely you are to truly mess anything up. The side effect is that you are also materially less likely to produce anything really spectacular. I actually hesitated as to including it in today's list because I'm not totally sure I agree with it. I would say the majority of the time, it's right-on. But when you have a high-performance team (like ours!) and have open-minded players (like us!), I think it is possible to create a sum greater than the parts.
Related frequently used variations:
Never up, never in. (Apparently this is some sort of golf reference? Something about putting and not leaving it short?).
No risk, no reward.
Always bet on yourself.
If your friends jumped off a bridge…
Who cares what I think, what do YOU think?
Why are you asking me - it's not my life.
7) "You just worry about you."
General response to tattling or to asking my mother why she got to eat in the living room was dad breaking in with this gem.
8) Play until someone cries.
This wasn't a quote, it was just a rule. I have two sisters; they are 2 and 4 years younger than I am. My dad would always be happy to play with us, until someone cried. I think our record was 2 whole minutes. When the crying began, he would stand up, put his glasses back on, and leave the room.
9) "Yeah well, life isn't fair."
Another staple. I would guess that about 90% of complaints were met with this one. I should really use this one more too.
10) "Don't ever play poker for money."
This was not generic advice, this was very specific advice meant for me personally. My dad had knee surgery when I was 16 and spent a week or so on the couch. I played chess with him and beat him for the first time ever, which was the last time I ever played chess. I played poker with him and lost terribly. When it was over he said, "I thought I was the worst poker player I knew, but you're worse. Don't ever play poker for money."
So there's a little insight into my upbringing for you on this Friday afternoon. Perhaps it explains a little bit about me. Or perhaps you are just thinking I should have put the word "random" in all caps today. In either case, happy Friday and have a great weekend!
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